In this article you will read about the:
- Aquarius Man
- Aquarius Woman
- Aquarius Child
- Aquarius Boss
- Aquarius Employee
The AQUARIUS Man
All this time the Guard -was looking at her,
first through a telescope,
then through a microscope,
and then through an opera-glass.
At last he said, "You're traveling the wrong way,"
and shut up the window ...
To wade bravely smack dab into the center of the problem, don't expect an Aquarian
male to behave the way people in love are supposed to behave. If you do, you're in
for quite a jolt, maybe even a series of jolts. When it comes to friendship, he's all
you could ask for in a pal or a confidant. Love? Well, as an Aquarian I once knew
said, "Anybody can have a girl. But love is something else again." That was an
astute observation. It's "something else," all right, with Aquarians.
It's when he acts as though he doesn't like you that he's close to being hooked, and
the reason is elementary- simple logic. The Aquarian water bearer likes everybody.
Everyone is his friend. He'll even refer to his worst enemy as "my friend." So it
means something when he says he doesn't like someone. Just what it means may
take some study. The various nuances can be complicated.
An Aquarian man doesn't want to reveal his true feelings, in spite of his favorite
pastime of penetrating the feelings of others. His own reactions and motives are
complex, and he intends to keep them that way for the pure pleasure of fooling you.
Many strange experiences will come to this man, through both love and friendship,
and he'll scrutinize each one avidly. Until you get him to the altar, you're just
another experience, another experiment, hard as that may be to take. Don't sniffle.
He can be tricked, for all his caution. But before you start tricking him, you'd better
try to understand how to cope with his unique outlook about people.
He's a group man, and teamwork comes naturally to him. Aquarius understands the
fair play rules of sports as if he had invented them, and he carries these rules into his
personal relationships. His interests are scattered all over the place. That's because
his love of people is so impersonal;
he gives a certain value to everyone he meets, while the rest of us save such efforts
for only the very special people in our lives. To an Aquarian, everyone is special.
And I mean everyone. Even those he hasn't met yet. Few Uranus men are either
selfish or petty. When he does show those qualities, a gentle reminder that he's
being narrow-minded will bring him around. Aquarians just can't stand to be called
narrow-minded.
He responds to unusually high ideals, thanks to his rigid moral code (though you'd
better understand that it's his own code, which may not necessarily reflect or
correspond to the one accepted by society in general). He'll almost surely lead a life
of change, controversy and unexpected events. Yet there will often be moments of
perfect tranquility with him, impossible to find with any other Sun sign. Once he's
over the shock that he's allowed himself to become interested in one woman above
all of mankind, he can be an extremely considerate lover. The danger area is before
he's over the shock. Since he's so accustomed to neglecting his own problems in the
interest of the majority, hopefully some of this attitude will rub off on his love life.
Don't count on it, though. The chances are just as good that he'll suddenly realize
he's devoting his complete loyalty to you when there are all those other nameless
faces out there who need him. Then he may lean over backwards to prove to himself
that he hasn't lost his love for his friends and the rest of humanity by being attached
to just one person.
Forever analyzing, the Aquarian man will frequently ask himself, "I wonder what
she meant by that?" He won't rest until he finds out either. A puzzle drives him
simply wild and don't be fooled by his nonchalance. When he senses something is
hidden, he just won't sleep at night until he's unraveled the mystery and penetrated
the veil. There's always the possibility that he might be disappointed in what he
finds, so make sure it's worth discovering. If it isn't, he'll have no qualms about
making it painfully evident-and off he'll go to unravel a new veil.
The girl who wants to land him eventually has first to intrigue him. An open book
will never pique his curiosity.
He's attracted to closed pages, the more tightly closed, the better to arouse his
detective instinct. When a female either ignores him or keeps her own counsel, in
the beginning at least, his eyes will open" a little wider and hell get an alert
expression, amazingly like that of a bloodhound on the scent of something missing.
Why is she so emotional? (You can be emotional, you see, as long as you don't
explain why.) Is she really so changeable or is it an act? Why does she wear all that
perfume and make-up and such low-cut dresses, and then get insulted when those
Leos and Sagittarians and Scorpios whistle at her in front of the drugstore? Does she
want male advances or doesn't she? Is she a puritan or promiscuous? What makes
her tick? As he probes and questions and examines, the girl is at first flattered,
naturally-but when she sees he's just as intently curious about the waitress who just
served them (not to mention the bus boy), she begins to cool somewhat. Feeling like
an insect trapped under a scientist's cold eye isn't exactly calculated to cause the
heart to flutter in any feminine bosom. So she finally drifts (or runs) away to a more
fiery or earthy male, and the Aquarian sadly sighs for an instant or two before he
begins his next romantic investigation. (If some new invention or unique idea hasn't
aroused his interest first. In which case the next female research project must wait.)
Aquarian men can be touchingly gentle and docile, but you'd better tie a bright blue
electric string around your finger to remind you that his surface calmness is a
mirage. So is his apparent pliability. He won't tolerate an ounce of opportunism
from a female. If he thinks he's being exploited, that unpredictable Uranian charm
can vanish so quickly you'll think Cary Grant has turned into James Cagney, poised
to throw a grapefruit-half in your face. The frightening thing is that an extremely
upset Aquarian is perfectly capable of such shocking action. What's even more
frightening is that you may forgive him. Don't. At least, not more than once. He
admires a woman who holds her ground, if she's not too masculine about it, and if
she lets him fly hither and yon, unencumbered by mushy promises and tearful
accusations. As for that grapefruit, it's only fair to point out that Aquarians are
usually most gallant with the fair sex. But sometimes they can forget to distinguish
between the sexes in the throes of excitement.
Couple that with the Uranus unpredictability, and it does add up to a possible squirt
of grapefruit juice in the eye.
There's always an excellent possibility that an Aquarian will achieve some sort of
prestige during his lifetime. If it's only a trophy for stickball or a brass plaque for
being the tallest man in Succatosh County he's sure to be honored with some kind of
recognition. It could be something as splendid as winning the Nobel Prize. Lots of
Aquarians achieve such distinctions. (On the other hand, a large percentage of
disturbed Aquarians are weekly visitors to a head shrinker. It may be kind of tricky
to tell the difference. )
Some Uranus-ruled men have a fetish for cleanliness. You may bump into one who
shrieks if anyone uses his towel or breathes on his oatmeal. Back of this is an almost
neurotic fear of germs and illness. The Aquarian isn't above letting his phobias trail
over into his romantic life, when they can serve a purpose, though he may do so
unconsciously. Don't be surprised if he complains that he's allergic to your eye
shadow and it makes him sneeze. Uranians have a way of developing allergies to
things they'd rather avoid, and they can even fool the doctors, let alone innocent,
unsuspecting girls.
He's not the type to woo you with extravagant gestures. He's as likely to pull up a
dandelion and toss it at you as bring you an orchid. To be honest, more likely. He
won't present you with mink coats and diamonds. But life with him can still be
glamorous, even without the mink. There's the well-known story about Helen Hayes
and her husband, Charles MacArthur. When they first met, he handed her a bowl of
peanuts and said, "I wish they were emeralds." Many years and many dollars later,
he gave her a cluster of glittering emeralds with the remark, "I wish they were
peanuts." I don't know if MacArthur was an Aquarian, but Uranus was certainly
prominent in his natal chart. That's exactly the kind of unexpected glory you'll know
with an Aquarian lover. Who needs mink?
Now let's face the worst fact courageously. No flinching or wishful thinking. Here it
is. Unlike Cancer, Capricorn, Leo and Libra, Aquarians don't take to marriage like a
baby takes to candy. To be truthful, most of them avoid it as long as it's humanly
possible. A rare Aquarian male will be enticed into a shower of shoes and rice at an
early age, but it doesn't happen often enough for the statistics to be encouraging.
The way the impasse usually starts is that the Aquarian makes beautiful, wonderful,
glorious friendship the basis of the love. (Easier to slide away from later, my dear.)
They choose a girl who's also a chum, and who can keep up with the Aquarian
interests, including Mickey Mantle's batting average, crossword puzzles, Arabian
horses, fireflies on the Mississippi and the Dead Sea Scrolls. Why? That's easy.
With so much to talk about, there's less time for lovemaking, which can get him
seriously involved and committed. His ideal is the female who is his friend, and
who doesn't make heavy emotional demands on him. Where do we go from here?
Nowhere, usually.
Aquarian men find it difficult to relax in physical expressions of love. That first
goodnight kiss may be a long time materializing. Admittedly, it's often well worth
waiting for, and the suspense makes it even more special. But he'll cling to the
illusion that he's involved in a nice, safe platonic friendship long after such a palsy-
walsy relationship has become impossible for you.
Even after he's mustered the courage to say "I love you," he'll avoid the issue of
marriage with every excuse in the book. When those run out, he can think up some
pretty imaginative new ones. He'll patiently explain that he can't support you in the
manner you deserve, his parents need him at home, or he's not good enough for you.
If that doesn't work, he'll claim that the future is too uncertain, what with the threats
of nuclear destruction and all. What if his boss sends him to Alaska next year? You
might die of pneumonia up there, and he would be grief-stricken the rest of his life.
You think he can't top that? One Aquarian man I know was engaged for twelve
years to a girl he wouldn't marry because "she would have to sacrifice a great career
on Broadway." The fact that the girl had never set foot on a stage in her life was
beside the point. He thought she had talent. Someday, a producer might just
discover her. Then how would she feel if he had held her back by marrying her?
Worse yet, how would he feel? Guilty. Just plain selfish and guilty. It's not
surprising that this poor female finally escaped to a more positive rival.
But all is not lost. Though it's true that most Aquarians wed late, they do eventually
wed-usually. It normally happens after the last bachelor friend has sailed away to a
Bermuda honeymoon, and the Aquarian wakes up to realize that here is a mystery
other people have solved that he hasn't even investigated. Naturally, he- can't stand
that, so pop goes the proposal! Suddenly, of course.- Uranus, you know.
In the early stages, you may think he needs a lesson and decide to let him think he's
lost you to a more aggressive suitor. Let me warn you that you're likely to stay lost.
Your broken-hearted Uranian is not nearly as apt to come charging after you with
the fire of possession in his eye as he is to shed a couple of quiet tears and say,
"Well, I guess the best man won." He'll resign himself to a life without you with
insulting ease. He's even liable to ask the unbearable question, "Can't we still be
friends?" If you say no emphatically, he'll probably just shrug dejectedly and slowly
walk away. If you say yes-well, you're right back where you started-friends.
Jealousy isn't his cup of eggnog. He'll trust you until you show him you can't be
trusted. Not because he's trusting by nature, but because his analytical dissection has
already satisfied him about your character. Unless there are marked afflictions in his
natal chart, he's not capable of unfounded suspicion and possessiveness. If he does
have a rare stab of jealousy, you'll never know it if he can help it. He will rarely, if
ever, be physically unfaithful himself, mostly because the whole subject of sex,
though it's interesting, doesn't consume him. An occasional Aquarian may spend a
great deal of time intensely pondering sex, but if you know one of these, you can
safely assume there's a heavy Scorpio influence in his natal chart. (And chances are
even this type won't pursue it actively and openly.)
Once an Aquarian has chosen a mate, he figures he can concentrate on more
important things. He can relax and investigate the boy-giri or man-woman
relationship at his own leisure in his own private laboratory (which isn't a bad
possibility for its eventual chance of success when you stop to think about it).
Uranian sex is part of a larger image or ideal. Should a temptation to engage in
illicit romance arise (illicit in his eyes, that is), he'll usually end the affair abruptly,
though it may hurt him deeply, rather than continue what he considers to be a
dishonest relationship. The situation that made him feel -guilty could be almost
anything, from the disapproval of your parents or conflicting religions to an old boy
friend not completely discarded, a promise he made to himself at the age of eight, or
something he once read in a book. But whatever it is, it will somehow have to be
adjusted and resolved before he'll ever renew the closeness, even if the love is as
fated as that of Victoria and Albert. The Aquarian will always let his heart break
silently, lest his friends hear and ask questions.
He's capable of waiting undl he's ninety to claim you, even if you feel that's a bit
long to wait for consummation. The worst of it is that hell never give a reason for
the break. That's for him to know and you to find out. He'll perversely let you think
it was just a fantasy from the beginning, and hold back the real truth that it was
genuine for some hazy future day of forgiveness and reconciliation. It can be pretty
cruel, but that's the way he plays the game.
Your only comfort is the knowledge that he's suffering in his own way, too. How
will you know that? Read "How to Recognize Aquarius" again. He has his subtle
ways of telegraphing his feelings, and they can be enormously frustrating-especially
when his unique, private communication signals a green go light while he publicly
keeps holding out a red stop light until he's ready to switch. It can make for some
nasty romantic traffic snarls. It's hard on the pedestrian, but he's in the driver's seat,
so there's not a lot you can do-except perhaps think up another mystery to tempt him
with, or maybe shake him a little with some smashing success to make him curious
to talk with you again-like being the first woman to orbit Venus.
Not that such a feat will change his feelings. If he really loves you, he'll love you
even if you don't orbit any farther than to the comer delicatessen, but it might
interfere with his fixed strategy. You may gather from all this that a Uranus man can
be pretty stubborn when it comes to love. You would be so right. His fixity in
affectionate matters can drive you straight into the booby hatch or drive you to
someone else in desperation. That's a big fat waste of time. He's not jealous,
remember? Or he won't show it if he is. Besides, with his darned Uranian intuition,
he'll know it's all an act. Because he knows what makes you tick. Don't forget, he
studied you for a long time. About the only thing you can do is hope you'll still be
attractive at ninety or else start practicing those Venus orbits.
Putting the shoe on the other foot, an Aquarian can arouse a heap of possessiveness
in you when the tables are turned. Don't let it throw you off balance. Thanks to the
everlasting Uranus proclivity for friendship, whenever and wherever he finds it,
there may be times when you won't know where he is, even after you're married and
you should. Just tell yourself that, no matter how late he sits up with a friend, it's
only his normal curiosity at work, his never-ending interest in people. If the friend is
a woman, pretend you didn't notice. In all honesty, he most likely didn't. You can
expect the truth when you ask him a direct question. But if you doubt him and ask
again, he'll figure you don't want the truth. To punish you, he'll make up the wildest
story he can dream up (and he can dream up some pretty wild ones). You may regret
your suspicions when you spend a few hours in abject misery wondering if he really
did tell that redhead she was gorgeous. (That's after he told you he didn't even
remember talking to her and you said, "Ha! I just bet you don't remember.") He
honestly didn't, but you asked for details, so he gladly obliged with some purely
imaginary ones to teach you a lesson. You'll learn fast.
Don't be hurt when he's in one of his solitary moods and prefers to be alone with his
silent dreams. He'll return to share them with you, all the more warm and tender for
his spiritual retreat and anything that warms him up should definitely be
encouraged.
He may not be the best breadwinner around, but he's capable of inventing something
beneficial to the world or being the first man to land on Mars. He'll feel right at
home there, too. There's always a surprise just around the comer with an Aquarian
husband, even when the budget is shaky. Naturally, there are a few Uranian men
who are wealthy, even millionaires, but a high income bracket is seldom a burning
ambition. All the rich Aquarians you see probably stumbled on it. It's certain they
didn't greedily grasp for it. If he has a fat bank book, the chances are it gained
weight while he was attempting to improve some product or idea for the good of
humanity in general-or he's saved it to support his eccentric old age. Who knows?
He might want to take a trip in a time machine someday, and he wants to be sure to
have the fare. Most of the time he'll be reasonable about money, but save when you
can, and don't run up charge accounts. He'll never recover from sheer extravagance
on your part. Sometimes he can surprise you with a burst of generosity, but he won't
go overboard, unless he has an Aries, Leo, Sagittarius or Pisces ascendant. Even
then, he won't be a big butter and egg man.
The children will find him the greatest listener on the block. He'll be fascinated at
the perfect breath control of the wolf when he blew down the three little pigs' pad-
and curious about how the old witch pickled the poisoned apple that put the
whammy on Snow White. A small boy's trouble learning how to strike a home run
and a little girl's tears over a broken doll are simply the problems of a couple of pals
in trouble to an Aquarian father. He's a whiz at complicated arithmetic questions,
too.
Don't let your career make you neglect to feed him or sew on his buttons. Don't
encourage your girl friends to camp on his couch or tie up the telephone for hours,
and don't get engrossed in TV or a novel when he wants you to find his old soft ball
in the attic or pull a splinter out of his finger. He married you for several reasons.
Though romance may play its part, the most important reason was to have you
around-so he would always have someone to mash his baked potato, cross-stitch his
buttonholes, find his lost articles and operate on an occasional splinter. He won't
cotton to your letting television, reading or female chums interfere with those
duties. His idea of a good wife and mother is quite simple: a woman who keeps at it
almost constantly. Even the more liberal Aquarian husbands will frown on a
glamorous gadabout. But you won't mind it too much. He's so full of interesting
surprises himself you won't need soap operas, women's magazines and tete-a-tetes
with girl friends to keep your mind and emotions challenged. (He may be about all
the challenge you can take.) You can always catch up on the female gossip and such
when he's engrossed in some new project and gets a little absent-minded about what
you're doing. But just be sure to be there when he has a sore finger, because he can
be a real sorehead when he's neglected.
Strangely, since he's so realistic about most things, the Aquarian will never forget
his first love. (Not the first date, but the first girl who ever gave him a rainbow.
There's a difference.) Uranians frequently marry childhood sweethearts years later,
or cling to a faded illusion. An Aquarian can usually describe his first love in detail,
which can be annoying to a wife. The solution is to be that first love. You may have
to wait a long time to wear orange blossoms, but at least you won't be replaced by a
ghost. Who else could turn peanuts into emeralds or vice versa, never mind a little
grapefruit juice in the eye? Despite his general romantic clumsiness, he can come up
with sudden phrases which could only have been invented by the angels. He can
forget your wedding anniversary, but he'll bring you violets in January. Christmas?
Who says it has to be on December 25th? It can be any dme you want it to be. He
may go for days or weeks or months without a single word of romance or affection.
Then some morning while you're slicing his blueberry pie, he'll look deep into your
eyes and ask gently, "Do you know how beautiful you are?" There will be
something about the way he says it that will make your knees weak.
Jingle bells on the seashore, birthdays at dawn. Valentine's Day on Halloween,
rainbows at midnight. Pin a red heart on an orange pumpkin, roll Easter eggs in the
snow, light the candles on the cake on top of a ferris wheel- you're in love with an
Aquarian, didn't you know? I wish you a Frank Merriwell ending. But be careful.
You can get lost out there in Wonderland.
first through a telescope,
then through a microscope,
and then through an opera-glass.
At last he said, "You're traveling the wrong way,"
and shut up the window ...
To wade bravely smack dab into the center of the problem, don't expect an Aquarian
male to behave the way people in love are supposed to behave. If you do, you're in
for quite a jolt, maybe even a series of jolts. When it comes to friendship, he's all
you could ask for in a pal or a confidant. Love? Well, as an Aquarian I once knew
said, "Anybody can have a girl. But love is something else again." That was an
astute observation. It's "something else," all right, with Aquarians.
It's when he acts as though he doesn't like you that he's close to being hooked, and
the reason is elementary- simple logic. The Aquarian water bearer likes everybody.
Everyone is his friend. He'll even refer to his worst enemy as "my friend." So it
means something when he says he doesn't like someone. Just what it means may
take some study. The various nuances can be complicated.
An Aquarian man doesn't want to reveal his true feelings, in spite of his favorite
pastime of penetrating the feelings of others. His own reactions and motives are
complex, and he intends to keep them that way for the pure pleasure of fooling you.
Many strange experiences will come to this man, through both love and friendship,
and he'll scrutinize each one avidly. Until you get him to the altar, you're just
another experience, another experiment, hard as that may be to take. Don't sniffle.
He can be tricked, for all his caution. But before you start tricking him, you'd better
try to understand how to cope with his unique outlook about people.
He's a group man, and teamwork comes naturally to him. Aquarius understands the
fair play rules of sports as if he had invented them, and he carries these rules into his
personal relationships. His interests are scattered all over the place. That's because
his love of people is so impersonal;
he gives a certain value to everyone he meets, while the rest of us save such efforts
for only the very special people in our lives. To an Aquarian, everyone is special.
And I mean everyone. Even those he hasn't met yet. Few Uranus men are either
selfish or petty. When he does show those qualities, a gentle reminder that he's
being narrow-minded will bring him around. Aquarians just can't stand to be called
narrow-minded.
He responds to unusually high ideals, thanks to his rigid moral code (though you'd
better understand that it's his own code, which may not necessarily reflect or
correspond to the one accepted by society in general). He'll almost surely lead a life
of change, controversy and unexpected events. Yet there will often be moments of
perfect tranquility with him, impossible to find with any other Sun sign. Once he's
over the shock that he's allowed himself to become interested in one woman above
all of mankind, he can be an extremely considerate lover. The danger area is before
he's over the shock. Since he's so accustomed to neglecting his own problems in the
interest of the majority, hopefully some of this attitude will rub off on his love life.
Don't count on it, though. The chances are just as good that he'll suddenly realize
he's devoting his complete loyalty to you when there are all those other nameless
faces out there who need him. Then he may lean over backwards to prove to himself
that he hasn't lost his love for his friends and the rest of humanity by being attached
to just one person.
Forever analyzing, the Aquarian man will frequently ask himself, "I wonder what
she meant by that?" He won't rest until he finds out either. A puzzle drives him
simply wild and don't be fooled by his nonchalance. When he senses something is
hidden, he just won't sleep at night until he's unraveled the mystery and penetrated
the veil. There's always the possibility that he might be disappointed in what he
finds, so make sure it's worth discovering. If it isn't, he'll have no qualms about
making it painfully evident-and off he'll go to unravel a new veil.
The girl who wants to land him eventually has first to intrigue him. An open book
will never pique his curiosity.
He's attracted to closed pages, the more tightly closed, the better to arouse his
detective instinct. When a female either ignores him or keeps her own counsel, in
the beginning at least, his eyes will open" a little wider and hell get an alert
expression, amazingly like that of a bloodhound on the scent of something missing.
Why is she so emotional? (You can be emotional, you see, as long as you don't
explain why.) Is she really so changeable or is it an act? Why does she wear all that
perfume and make-up and such low-cut dresses, and then get insulted when those
Leos and Sagittarians and Scorpios whistle at her in front of the drugstore? Does she
want male advances or doesn't she? Is she a puritan or promiscuous? What makes
her tick? As he probes and questions and examines, the girl is at first flattered,
naturally-but when she sees he's just as intently curious about the waitress who just
served them (not to mention the bus boy), she begins to cool somewhat. Feeling like
an insect trapped under a scientist's cold eye isn't exactly calculated to cause the
heart to flutter in any feminine bosom. So she finally drifts (or runs) away to a more
fiery or earthy male, and the Aquarian sadly sighs for an instant or two before he
begins his next romantic investigation. (If some new invention or unique idea hasn't
aroused his interest first. In which case the next female research project must wait.)
Aquarian men can be touchingly gentle and docile, but you'd better tie a bright blue
electric string around your finger to remind you that his surface calmness is a
mirage. So is his apparent pliability. He won't tolerate an ounce of opportunism
from a female. If he thinks he's being exploited, that unpredictable Uranian charm
can vanish so quickly you'll think Cary Grant has turned into James Cagney, poised
to throw a grapefruit-half in your face. The frightening thing is that an extremely
upset Aquarian is perfectly capable of such shocking action. What's even more
frightening is that you may forgive him. Don't. At least, not more than once. He
admires a woman who holds her ground, if she's not too masculine about it, and if
she lets him fly hither and yon, unencumbered by mushy promises and tearful
accusations. As for that grapefruit, it's only fair to point out that Aquarians are
usually most gallant with the fair sex. But sometimes they can forget to distinguish
between the sexes in the throes of excitement.
Couple that with the Uranus unpredictability, and it does add up to a possible squirt
of grapefruit juice in the eye.
There's always an excellent possibility that an Aquarian will achieve some sort of
prestige during his lifetime. If it's only a trophy for stickball or a brass plaque for
being the tallest man in Succatosh County he's sure to be honored with some kind of
recognition. It could be something as splendid as winning the Nobel Prize. Lots of
Aquarians achieve such distinctions. (On the other hand, a large percentage of
disturbed Aquarians are weekly visitors to a head shrinker. It may be kind of tricky
to tell the difference. )
Some Uranus-ruled men have a fetish for cleanliness. You may bump into one who
shrieks if anyone uses his towel or breathes on his oatmeal. Back of this is an almost
neurotic fear of germs and illness. The Aquarian isn't above letting his phobias trail
over into his romantic life, when they can serve a purpose, though he may do so
unconsciously. Don't be surprised if he complains that he's allergic to your eye
shadow and it makes him sneeze. Uranians have a way of developing allergies to
things they'd rather avoid, and they can even fool the doctors, let alone innocent,
unsuspecting girls.
He's not the type to woo you with extravagant gestures. He's as likely to pull up a
dandelion and toss it at you as bring you an orchid. To be honest, more likely. He
won't present you with mink coats and diamonds. But life with him can still be
glamorous, even without the mink. There's the well-known story about Helen Hayes
and her husband, Charles MacArthur. When they first met, he handed her a bowl of
peanuts and said, "I wish they were emeralds." Many years and many dollars later,
he gave her a cluster of glittering emeralds with the remark, "I wish they were
peanuts." I don't know if MacArthur was an Aquarian, but Uranus was certainly
prominent in his natal chart. That's exactly the kind of unexpected glory you'll know
with an Aquarian lover. Who needs mink?
Now let's face the worst fact courageously. No flinching or wishful thinking. Here it
is. Unlike Cancer, Capricorn, Leo and Libra, Aquarians don't take to marriage like a
baby takes to candy. To be truthful, most of them avoid it as long as it's humanly
possible. A rare Aquarian male will be enticed into a shower of shoes and rice at an
early age, but it doesn't happen often enough for the statistics to be encouraging.
The way the impasse usually starts is that the Aquarian makes beautiful, wonderful,
glorious friendship the basis of the love. (Easier to slide away from later, my dear.)
They choose a girl who's also a chum, and who can keep up with the Aquarian
interests, including Mickey Mantle's batting average, crossword puzzles, Arabian
horses, fireflies on the Mississippi and the Dead Sea Scrolls. Why? That's easy.
With so much to talk about, there's less time for lovemaking, which can get him
seriously involved and committed. His ideal is the female who is his friend, and
who doesn't make heavy emotional demands on him. Where do we go from here?
Nowhere, usually.
Aquarian men find it difficult to relax in physical expressions of love. That first
goodnight kiss may be a long time materializing. Admittedly, it's often well worth
waiting for, and the suspense makes it even more special. But he'll cling to the
illusion that he's involved in a nice, safe platonic friendship long after such a palsy-
walsy relationship has become impossible for you.
Even after he's mustered the courage to say "I love you," he'll avoid the issue of
marriage with every excuse in the book. When those run out, he can think up some
pretty imaginative new ones. He'll patiently explain that he can't support you in the
manner you deserve, his parents need him at home, or he's not good enough for you.
If that doesn't work, he'll claim that the future is too uncertain, what with the threats
of nuclear destruction and all. What if his boss sends him to Alaska next year? You
might die of pneumonia up there, and he would be grief-stricken the rest of his life.
You think he can't top that? One Aquarian man I know was engaged for twelve
years to a girl he wouldn't marry because "she would have to sacrifice a great career
on Broadway." The fact that the girl had never set foot on a stage in her life was
beside the point. He thought she had talent. Someday, a producer might just
discover her. Then how would she feel if he had held her back by marrying her?
Worse yet, how would he feel? Guilty. Just plain selfish and guilty. It's not
surprising that this poor female finally escaped to a more positive rival.
But all is not lost. Though it's true that most Aquarians wed late, they do eventually
wed-usually. It normally happens after the last bachelor friend has sailed away to a
Bermuda honeymoon, and the Aquarian wakes up to realize that here is a mystery
other people have solved that he hasn't even investigated. Naturally, he- can't stand
that, so pop goes the proposal! Suddenly, of course.- Uranus, you know.
In the early stages, you may think he needs a lesson and decide to let him think he's
lost you to a more aggressive suitor. Let me warn you that you're likely to stay lost.
Your broken-hearted Uranian is not nearly as apt to come charging after you with
the fire of possession in his eye as he is to shed a couple of quiet tears and say,
"Well, I guess the best man won." He'll resign himself to a life without you with
insulting ease. He's even liable to ask the unbearable question, "Can't we still be
friends?" If you say no emphatically, he'll probably just shrug dejectedly and slowly
walk away. If you say yes-well, you're right back where you started-friends.
Jealousy isn't his cup of eggnog. He'll trust you until you show him you can't be
trusted. Not because he's trusting by nature, but because his analytical dissection has
already satisfied him about your character. Unless there are marked afflictions in his
natal chart, he's not capable of unfounded suspicion and possessiveness. If he does
have a rare stab of jealousy, you'll never know it if he can help it. He will rarely, if
ever, be physically unfaithful himself, mostly because the whole subject of sex,
though it's interesting, doesn't consume him. An occasional Aquarian may spend a
great deal of time intensely pondering sex, but if you know one of these, you can
safely assume there's a heavy Scorpio influence in his natal chart. (And chances are
even this type won't pursue it actively and openly.)
Once an Aquarian has chosen a mate, he figures he can concentrate on more
important things. He can relax and investigate the boy-giri or man-woman
relationship at his own leisure in his own private laboratory (which isn't a bad
possibility for its eventual chance of success when you stop to think about it).
Uranian sex is part of a larger image or ideal. Should a temptation to engage in
illicit romance arise (illicit in his eyes, that is), he'll usually end the affair abruptly,
though it may hurt him deeply, rather than continue what he considers to be a
dishonest relationship. The situation that made him feel -guilty could be almost
anything, from the disapproval of your parents or conflicting religions to an old boy
friend not completely discarded, a promise he made to himself at the age of eight, or
something he once read in a book. But whatever it is, it will somehow have to be
adjusted and resolved before he'll ever renew the closeness, even if the love is as
fated as that of Victoria and Albert. The Aquarian will always let his heart break
silently, lest his friends hear and ask questions.
He's capable of waiting undl he's ninety to claim you, even if you feel that's a bit
long to wait for consummation. The worst of it is that hell never give a reason for
the break. That's for him to know and you to find out. He'll perversely let you think
it was just a fantasy from the beginning, and hold back the real truth that it was
genuine for some hazy future day of forgiveness and reconciliation. It can be pretty
cruel, but that's the way he plays the game.
Your only comfort is the knowledge that he's suffering in his own way, too. How
will you know that? Read "How to Recognize Aquarius" again. He has his subtle
ways of telegraphing his feelings, and they can be enormously frustrating-especially
when his unique, private communication signals a green go light while he publicly
keeps holding out a red stop light until he's ready to switch. It can make for some
nasty romantic traffic snarls. It's hard on the pedestrian, but he's in the driver's seat,
so there's not a lot you can do-except perhaps think up another mystery to tempt him
with, or maybe shake him a little with some smashing success to make him curious
to talk with you again-like being the first woman to orbit Venus.
Not that such a feat will change his feelings. If he really loves you, he'll love you
even if you don't orbit any farther than to the comer delicatessen, but it might
interfere with his fixed strategy. You may gather from all this that a Uranus man can
be pretty stubborn when it comes to love. You would be so right. His fixity in
affectionate matters can drive you straight into the booby hatch or drive you to
someone else in desperation. That's a big fat waste of time. He's not jealous,
remember? Or he won't show it if he is. Besides, with his darned Uranian intuition,
he'll know it's all an act. Because he knows what makes you tick. Don't forget, he
studied you for a long time. About the only thing you can do is hope you'll still be
attractive at ninety or else start practicing those Venus orbits.
Putting the shoe on the other foot, an Aquarian can arouse a heap of possessiveness
in you when the tables are turned. Don't let it throw you off balance. Thanks to the
everlasting Uranus proclivity for friendship, whenever and wherever he finds it,
there may be times when you won't know where he is, even after you're married and
you should. Just tell yourself that, no matter how late he sits up with a friend, it's
only his normal curiosity at work, his never-ending interest in people. If the friend is
a woman, pretend you didn't notice. In all honesty, he most likely didn't. You can
expect the truth when you ask him a direct question. But if you doubt him and ask
again, he'll figure you don't want the truth. To punish you, he'll make up the wildest
story he can dream up (and he can dream up some pretty wild ones). You may regret
your suspicions when you spend a few hours in abject misery wondering if he really
did tell that redhead she was gorgeous. (That's after he told you he didn't even
remember talking to her and you said, "Ha! I just bet you don't remember.") He
honestly didn't, but you asked for details, so he gladly obliged with some purely
imaginary ones to teach you a lesson. You'll learn fast.
Don't be hurt when he's in one of his solitary moods and prefers to be alone with his
silent dreams. He'll return to share them with you, all the more warm and tender for
his spiritual retreat and anything that warms him up should definitely be
encouraged.
He may not be the best breadwinner around, but he's capable of inventing something
beneficial to the world or being the first man to land on Mars. He'll feel right at
home there, too. There's always a surprise just around the comer with an Aquarian
husband, even when the budget is shaky. Naturally, there are a few Uranian men
who are wealthy, even millionaires, but a high income bracket is seldom a burning
ambition. All the rich Aquarians you see probably stumbled on it. It's certain they
didn't greedily grasp for it. If he has a fat bank book, the chances are it gained
weight while he was attempting to improve some product or idea for the good of
humanity in general-or he's saved it to support his eccentric old age. Who knows?
He might want to take a trip in a time machine someday, and he wants to be sure to
have the fare. Most of the time he'll be reasonable about money, but save when you
can, and don't run up charge accounts. He'll never recover from sheer extravagance
on your part. Sometimes he can surprise you with a burst of generosity, but he won't
go overboard, unless he has an Aries, Leo, Sagittarius or Pisces ascendant. Even
then, he won't be a big butter and egg man.
The children will find him the greatest listener on the block. He'll be fascinated at
the perfect breath control of the wolf when he blew down the three little pigs' pad-
and curious about how the old witch pickled the poisoned apple that put the
whammy on Snow White. A small boy's trouble learning how to strike a home run
and a little girl's tears over a broken doll are simply the problems of a couple of pals
in trouble to an Aquarian father. He's a whiz at complicated arithmetic questions,
too.
Don't let your career make you neglect to feed him or sew on his buttons. Don't
encourage your girl friends to camp on his couch or tie up the telephone for hours,
and don't get engrossed in TV or a novel when he wants you to find his old soft ball
in the attic or pull a splinter out of his finger. He married you for several reasons.
Though romance may play its part, the most important reason was to have you
around-so he would always have someone to mash his baked potato, cross-stitch his
buttonholes, find his lost articles and operate on an occasional splinter. He won't
cotton to your letting television, reading or female chums interfere with those
duties. His idea of a good wife and mother is quite simple: a woman who keeps at it
almost constantly. Even the more liberal Aquarian husbands will frown on a
glamorous gadabout. But you won't mind it too much. He's so full of interesting
surprises himself you won't need soap operas, women's magazines and tete-a-tetes
with girl friends to keep your mind and emotions challenged. (He may be about all
the challenge you can take.) You can always catch up on the female gossip and such
when he's engrossed in some new project and gets a little absent-minded about what
you're doing. But just be sure to be there when he has a sore finger, because he can
be a real sorehead when he's neglected.
Strangely, since he's so realistic about most things, the Aquarian will never forget
his first love. (Not the first date, but the first girl who ever gave him a rainbow.
There's a difference.) Uranians frequently marry childhood sweethearts years later,
or cling to a faded illusion. An Aquarian can usually describe his first love in detail,
which can be annoying to a wife. The solution is to be that first love. You may have
to wait a long time to wear orange blossoms, but at least you won't be replaced by a
ghost. Who else could turn peanuts into emeralds or vice versa, never mind a little
grapefruit juice in the eye? Despite his general romantic clumsiness, he can come up
with sudden phrases which could only have been invented by the angels. He can
forget your wedding anniversary, but he'll bring you violets in January. Christmas?
Who says it has to be on December 25th? It can be any dme you want it to be. He
may go for days or weeks or months without a single word of romance or affection.
Then some morning while you're slicing his blueberry pie, he'll look deep into your
eyes and ask gently, "Do you know how beautiful you are?" There will be
something about the way he says it that will make your knees weak.
Jingle bells on the seashore, birthdays at dawn. Valentine's Day on Halloween,
rainbows at midnight. Pin a red heart on an orange pumpkin, roll Easter eggs in the
snow, light the candles on the cake on top of a ferris wheel- you're in love with an
Aquarian, didn't you know? I wish you a Frank Merriwell ending. But be careful.
You can get lost out there in Wonderland.
The AQUARIUS Woman
But Alice had got so much into the -way
of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen
that it seemed quite dull and stupid
for life to go on in the common way ...
Put cats in the coffee, and mice in the tea- And welcome Queen Alice with thirty
times three!
The safest way to enter into romance with an Aquarian female is to remember she's
as paradoxical in love as she is in everything else. That way, you won't be expecting
Priscilla Alden and get Pocahontas.
This girl has all the faithfulness of the fixed signs when die's in love, but she also
has the detachment and lack of emotion of the air element. It's possible to have a
happy relationship with the Uranus woman if you leave her free to pursue her
myriad interests and circulate among her friends. Never try to tie her to the stove or
the bedpost. Ask the man who's tried. She can suddenly decide to study ballet,
meditate in the mountains or join the Peace Corps. Remember the story of the
princess with the long, golden hair who lived high in a tower? That's the Aquarius
female. Cutting off her flowing tresses won't change her any more than it did in the
fairy tale. She dreams different dreams than you or I. She hears a distant drummer-
and follows a star most of us have never seen.
She belongs to everyone, and yet to no one. Her love can be tender and inspired, but
there will always be a vaguely elusive quality about it, like a half-remembered song.
You can hum the melody, but the lyrics keep slipping away. The Aquarian girl's
demand for freedom is insistent, but her allegiance to anyone who can accept
romance within such limits is boundless. Here's something you'll like:
She won't be terribly interested in your bank book (unless Cancer or Capricorn or
Taurus is on her ascendant). Money is never the prime consideration of the typical
Aquarian woman. She won't care if you're not the richest man in town, but she'll
expect you to be respected in some way for your intellectual achievements. Dr.
Christian Bamard and his heart transplants or Wemher von Braun and his rockets
interest her far more than J. Paul Getty and his billions.
When you set out to catch this butterfly in your net, remember that she'll never
spend her unpredictable life with a man who isn't true to himself. Her own code of
ethics may be as weird as anything you've ever come across, and quite different
from the accepted codes of society, but she lives up to it totally. She'll understand
that your rules may also be highly individual. That's fine with her, but don't
compromise those rules. If you're looking for a passion flower, you've picked the
wrong daisy. Passion is not her forte if she's a typical Aquarian. She'll think physical
love is pleasant enough, if it's not overemphasized. In other words, she can take it or
leave it alone. Uranus females can respond to lovemaking with a haunting, deep
intensity, but if you prefer to keep it platonic for long periods of time, that's all right,
too. Like all Aquarians, she may have an unconscious fear that desire for one person
will imprison the spirit in some way, and keep her from being true to her one great
love-freedom. Freedom to experiment and investigate and freedom to give time to
humanity. Also freedom to pursue her rather kicky, off-beat fancies.
She's an ideal girl if you're planning a political, scientific or educational career. You
couldn't do better, unless you happen to run across an Aquarian girl with adverse
planetary positions in her natal chart who enjoys shocking people by walking
barefoot down Main Street or smoking big black cigars on buses. There are some
pretty wild, way-out Uranian females here and there. But the average girl born
under the sign of the water bearer is a social delight. She's graceful, witty, bright as
a penny, and extremely adaptable to all forms of society, high and low and in the
middle.
Her lack of suspicion under normal circumstances is a special bonus. A traveling
salesman should find his dream girl in the typical Aquarian female. If she actually
catches you being unfaithful, it will cause a deep wound to her sensitive nature.
You'll know it the minute you look into those strange, dreamy eyes. But she won't
suspect you without cause, and she'll rarely doubt your word. The typical Uranus
woman will never check up on you after you leave, phone you at the office, inspect
your handkerchiefs for lipstick stains or look for blonde hairs caught in your cuff
link. Deception will have to be brought forcibly to her attention; she won't go out
looking for it. Before you give her too much credit, consider that her lack of pas-
sionate jealousy is due to something more than strength of character. First of all, she
probably dissected your psyche under a microscope before she gave you a second
glance. Besides, she has so many outside interests and so many people who turn her
on to talk with, there's not much time for her to worry about what you're doing when
you're out of sight. Out of sight can often mean out of mind for Aquarians of both
sexes. Absence seldom makes the Uranus heart grow fonder. Occasionally, an
Aquarian woman will suffer a promiscuous or flirtatious mate, because there's
something she needs which she can find only with him, so she looks the other way.
On the other hand, if she doesn't really need you, that moral strength will work in
reverse at the first actual proof of infidelity. Shell simply walk away. Don't try to
kindle the embers, they're stone cold dead. Of course, you can still be friends. Why
not?
She's willing. It never embarrasses an. Aquarian girl to be chummy with ex-lovers
or husbands. She's forgotten the past and wiped the slate clean of memories.
There is one peculiar and notable exception to the rule. Like the Uranus man, the
Uranian female will remember the first true and honest love for a lifetime. Only the
first, however. Are you wondering whether that Aquarius girl you once knew still
remembers you? The answer lies in her definition of love. It could have something
to do with the first boy who gave her a bunch of sweet peas when she was nine-the
boy who walked her through the park in the rain-or the one with the funny ears who
knew the clown at the circus, and used to feed her peanuts.
Uranus women involved in extra-marital affairs are rare. They can be tempted in
exceptional situations, but a dishonest relationship goes against their chemistry. It
won't be long until an undercover romance is broken off for good. Yet, there are
many Aquarian divorcees. There's a reason. If a situation becomes intolerable, the
Uranian nature turns cold suddenly. They can disappear overnight, and never look
back. They don't seek or enjoy divorce, but it isn't the shock to them it is to their
more sentimental sisters. Uranus rules change, you know. Since she's such an
individualist, with a list of friends several miles long, the Aquarian female never
hesitates to make her way alone if the need arises.
Expect her to probe into your heart until you haven't a secret left, or a dream that
hasn't been analyzed. But don't try to dissect her private thoughts. That's not the way
the game is played with Aquarians. She'll keep her motives hidden, and sometimes
take a perverse pleasure in deliberately confusing you. She'll usually be truthful to a
fault, but remember, with an Aquarian, telling a lie is one thing. Refraining from
telling the whole story is another.
It's comforting to know that an Aquarian girl is pretty cagey with a buck. That is, it's
comforting to know unless you're planning to hit her for a loan. She might say yes a
time or two, but if you let your credit rating slip, she can be colder than the guy at
the bank when you skip your car payment. On the rare occasions when she accepts a
small loan herself, you'll get back every penny with no stalling, excuses or feminine
wiles, if she's a typical Uranus female. As for every man's nightmare of charge
accounts, you'll have little worry on that score. Aquarian women are uncomfortable
about owing money. Bad debts don't fit in with the Uranus code.
Her appearance is puzzling. Most Aquarian women are lovely, with a haunting,
wistful beauty. But they're changeable. They can give an impression of smooth
whipped cream, then suddenly switch to salty pizza as quickly as a bright, blue, zig-
zag bolt of Uranian electricity. Next to Ubrans, Aquarian females are often the most
beautiful women in the zodiac. At the very least, they're interesting-looking. The
Aquarian manner of dressing can stop you dead in your tracks. There are a few of
them who could grace the cover of a fashion magazine, but the average Aquarian
girl is anything but conventional about her costumes. She can wear some outfits a
gypsy would envy, and her naked individuality can produce some mighty unique
combinations. She'll usually be the first to wear a new fad, no matter how zany it is,
yet she can also stick to Grandma's styles-even great-grandma's styles. With typical
- Aquarian indifference, she'll mix yesterday's lace snood with today's metallic jump
suit, and the effect can be a little startling. She'll wear her lace nightgown to a
formal banquet, ostrich feathers to the supermarket, bell bottom slacks to the opera,
sneakers to the theater, diamonds when she visits the zoo-and top it all off with a
faded Mother Hubbard she picked up in a thrift shop.
Your Aquarian girl will probably have an unusual way of wearing her hair. Her
tresses are as unpredictable as her personality. They can be worn braided, pig-tailed,
pinned in a bun, flowing down like a waterfall, short as a marine's, in Mary Pickford
curls or as straight as a poker. One thing you can depend on. Her hair won't look
like the hair of any other female on this planet.
A conversation with her can be remarkable, to say the least. She has charming
manners, and usually behaves in a timid, almost reserved way. Then comes one of
those sudden Uranus urges, and out will pop a remark with absolutely no relation to
what anyone is saying. You'll be talking about the fluctuations of the stock market,
and she'll interrupt out of nowhere with: "Did you know that Woodrow Wilson, Jack
Kennedy, Herbert Hoover, Harry Truman, Calvin Coolidge, Benjamin Harrison,
Franklin and Theodore Roosevelt and William McKinley all have double letters in
their names?" There's only one way to answer a question like that. Tell her she
missed Millard
Fillmore, Ulysses Grant and Thomas Jefferson. Then gently, but firmly, lead the
discussion back to the stock market. Other minds may progress in fairly logical
steps, but hers rigs into tomorrow, then zags back into today with no more sense of
direction than a flash of lightning. Now and then she'll toss off an unexpectedly
poignant phrase. You'll ask her what she thinks of space travel and she'll answer,
"When I was a little girl, I thought the stars were holes in the floor of heaven where
the light shone through." If she's in a different mood, you'll say that melted
snowmen make you sad, and shell counter with: "A melted snowman is just a pile of
slush, Charlie." First misty-then practical. First timid-then rowdy. Aquarian women
will rudely ridicule flying saucers, then tell you a story about a polka-dotted elf on a
windowsill. Never talk down to an Aquarian female. She'll resent not being
considered your equal, and an unsympathetic attitude will cause her to retreat and
become unapproachable.
Since Uranus rules the future, you might imagine that these girls would be natural
mothers. Children do, after all, belong to the future. But the average Aquarian
woman may be bewildered by motherhood in the beginning. She has to adjust to
devoting all her attention and energy exclusively to one human being for a period of
time, when she's used to spreading herself far and wide, and this can take some
practice. Her natural aloofness may make it difficult for her to demonstrate warm
affection outwardly. The typical Aquarian mother is devoted to her offspring, but
also somewhat detached toward them. But shell probably be the most willing PTA
worker in the neighborhood. She'll talk happily for hours with their small friends on
their own level without patronizing them, and she'll give up her afternoons to work
for a school project. The children will learn the lessons of brotherhood and
humanity from her by observation. Aquarian mothers are never fiercely protective
of their children. They take a tolerant view of the most startling confession. A
Uranus woman will seldom punish a child for telling the truth, no matter what he's
done. With her unprejudiced viewpoint, she'll gain the complete confidence of her
little ones. She's great at reassuring young minds about everything from monsters
hiding under the bed to the pain of being ignored in the playground. She can turn
their tears to laughter in minutes. Your children will find her jolly fun, a little helter-
skelter, relaxed about housework, helpful with homework and gentle when they're
ill. She won't smother them with affection, and she'll seldom nag. Maybe Tommy
didn't wash his hands the third time he was told, but she's more interested in what he
learned in science class.
We may be a little ahead of ourselves. Even though Uranus likes to reverse the
existing orders of things, before your Aquarian girl becomes a mother she has to
become a wife. And before she becomes your wife, you'll have to convince her that
marriage isn't synonymous with Al-catraz. She won't exactly rush into matrimony.
She's in no hurry to take your name until she's weighed you, sorted you, tested you,
and found out what makes you tick. The opinions of her friends and family will
mean nothing, though she may ask them what they think out of curiosity. She has
her own yardstick for measuring you. Assuming you pass her test, marriage to an
Aquarian girl can be confusing. She'll listen pleasantly when you give her advice,
but there's something in the Uranian make-up that prevents her from following
directions explicitly. She can't stick to the recipe when she bakes one of her angel
food cakes anymore than she can park the car exactly where you told her to. There's
some kind of a snag in her thinking that causes her to believe just a little twist will
improve anything. But shell smile agreeably as she goes on her own sweet way.
There's a constant urge to experiment with a different way to make the coffee, fill
her pen, fasten her ice skates or cross the street. She'll wear a sweater backwards,
mix her brandy with milk, arrange flowers in a fish bowl, rinse her hair in shaving
lotion or make a rock garden on your desk. But don't ask her why. She doesn't know
herself. The unique and unusual is her wave-length, that's all.
Because her nature is so impersonal, expressions of deep feeling won't come easily.
Except for those sudden remarks that sound likes a combination of Robert Frost and
Yogi Berra, she has few words with which to express her love, and her pattern of
physical passion is woven closely with threads connected to the mind and soul.
Although the unique Uranus outlook leads some Aquarian girls into peculiar
attachments, once they find the right mate their marriages are usually models of
happiness.
Your Aquarian woman can float through her days and nights with all the grace of a
proud swan, but she may behave like a clumsy bear in romantic situations. The line
between friendship and love is often all but invisible to Aquarius. Love songs about
people who only have eyes for each other strike her as silly. There are so many
miracles in the world for eyes to behold, it seems to her a terrible waste for two
pairs of them to do nothing but gaze into each other's depths. Shell be glad to let you
take her hand and walk beside her as she looks with happy delight on the sunrise, an
antique car, the milkman's horse, a yellow garbage pail, a stuffed owl or a red
balloon caught in a church steeple. But don't distract her with too much to-
getherness. Let her wander through her wonderland alone when she chooses, and
she'll never question your pinochle games with the boys.
The quickest ways to lose her are to show jealousy, pos-sessiveness or prejudice; to
be critical, stuffy or ultra-conservative. You'll also have to like her friends, who will
come in odd, assorted sizes and shapes.
She's susceptible to sudden flashes of inspiration, and her intuition is remarkable.
Her judgment may not seem sound or practical at first, because she sees months and
years ahead. The Aquarian girl lives in tomorrow, and you can only visit there
through her. What she says will come true, perhaps after many delays and troubles,
but it will come true. I suppose, after all, that's the most special thing about your
February woman. She's a little bit magic
of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen
that it seemed quite dull and stupid
for life to go on in the common way ...
Put cats in the coffee, and mice in the tea- And welcome Queen Alice with thirty
times three!
The safest way to enter into romance with an Aquarian female is to remember she's
as paradoxical in love as she is in everything else. That way, you won't be expecting
Priscilla Alden and get Pocahontas.
This girl has all the faithfulness of the fixed signs when die's in love, but she also
has the detachment and lack of emotion of the air element. It's possible to have a
happy relationship with the Uranus woman if you leave her free to pursue her
myriad interests and circulate among her friends. Never try to tie her to the stove or
the bedpost. Ask the man who's tried. She can suddenly decide to study ballet,
meditate in the mountains or join the Peace Corps. Remember the story of the
princess with the long, golden hair who lived high in a tower? That's the Aquarius
female. Cutting off her flowing tresses won't change her any more than it did in the
fairy tale. She dreams different dreams than you or I. She hears a distant drummer-
and follows a star most of us have never seen.
She belongs to everyone, and yet to no one. Her love can be tender and inspired, but
there will always be a vaguely elusive quality about it, like a half-remembered song.
You can hum the melody, but the lyrics keep slipping away. The Aquarian girl's
demand for freedom is insistent, but her allegiance to anyone who can accept
romance within such limits is boundless. Here's something you'll like:
She won't be terribly interested in your bank book (unless Cancer or Capricorn or
Taurus is on her ascendant). Money is never the prime consideration of the typical
Aquarian woman. She won't care if you're not the richest man in town, but she'll
expect you to be respected in some way for your intellectual achievements. Dr.
Christian Bamard and his heart transplants or Wemher von Braun and his rockets
interest her far more than J. Paul Getty and his billions.
When you set out to catch this butterfly in your net, remember that she'll never
spend her unpredictable life with a man who isn't true to himself. Her own code of
ethics may be as weird as anything you've ever come across, and quite different
from the accepted codes of society, but she lives up to it totally. She'll understand
that your rules may also be highly individual. That's fine with her, but don't
compromise those rules. If you're looking for a passion flower, you've picked the
wrong daisy. Passion is not her forte if she's a typical Aquarian. She'll think physical
love is pleasant enough, if it's not overemphasized. In other words, she can take it or
leave it alone. Uranus females can respond to lovemaking with a haunting, deep
intensity, but if you prefer to keep it platonic for long periods of time, that's all right,
too. Like all Aquarians, she may have an unconscious fear that desire for one person
will imprison the spirit in some way, and keep her from being true to her one great
love-freedom. Freedom to experiment and investigate and freedom to give time to
humanity. Also freedom to pursue her rather kicky, off-beat fancies.
She's an ideal girl if you're planning a political, scientific or educational career. You
couldn't do better, unless you happen to run across an Aquarian girl with adverse
planetary positions in her natal chart who enjoys shocking people by walking
barefoot down Main Street or smoking big black cigars on buses. There are some
pretty wild, way-out Uranian females here and there. But the average girl born
under the sign of the water bearer is a social delight. She's graceful, witty, bright as
a penny, and extremely adaptable to all forms of society, high and low and in the
middle.
Her lack of suspicion under normal circumstances is a special bonus. A traveling
salesman should find his dream girl in the typical Aquarian female. If she actually
catches you being unfaithful, it will cause a deep wound to her sensitive nature.
You'll know it the minute you look into those strange, dreamy eyes. But she won't
suspect you without cause, and she'll rarely doubt your word. The typical Uranus
woman will never check up on you after you leave, phone you at the office, inspect
your handkerchiefs for lipstick stains or look for blonde hairs caught in your cuff
link. Deception will have to be brought forcibly to her attention; she won't go out
looking for it. Before you give her too much credit, consider that her lack of pas-
sionate jealousy is due to something more than strength of character. First of all, she
probably dissected your psyche under a microscope before she gave you a second
glance. Besides, she has so many outside interests and so many people who turn her
on to talk with, there's not much time for her to worry about what you're doing when
you're out of sight. Out of sight can often mean out of mind for Aquarians of both
sexes. Absence seldom makes the Uranus heart grow fonder. Occasionally, an
Aquarian woman will suffer a promiscuous or flirtatious mate, because there's
something she needs which she can find only with him, so she looks the other way.
On the other hand, if she doesn't really need you, that moral strength will work in
reverse at the first actual proof of infidelity. Shell simply walk away. Don't try to
kindle the embers, they're stone cold dead. Of course, you can still be friends. Why
not?
She's willing. It never embarrasses an. Aquarian girl to be chummy with ex-lovers
or husbands. She's forgotten the past and wiped the slate clean of memories.
There is one peculiar and notable exception to the rule. Like the Uranus man, the
Uranian female will remember the first true and honest love for a lifetime. Only the
first, however. Are you wondering whether that Aquarius girl you once knew still
remembers you? The answer lies in her definition of love. It could have something
to do with the first boy who gave her a bunch of sweet peas when she was nine-the
boy who walked her through the park in the rain-or the one with the funny ears who
knew the clown at the circus, and used to feed her peanuts.
Uranus women involved in extra-marital affairs are rare. They can be tempted in
exceptional situations, but a dishonest relationship goes against their chemistry. It
won't be long until an undercover romance is broken off for good. Yet, there are
many Aquarian divorcees. There's a reason. If a situation becomes intolerable, the
Uranian nature turns cold suddenly. They can disappear overnight, and never look
back. They don't seek or enjoy divorce, but it isn't the shock to them it is to their
more sentimental sisters. Uranus rules change, you know. Since she's such an
individualist, with a list of friends several miles long, the Aquarian female never
hesitates to make her way alone if the need arises.
Expect her to probe into your heart until you haven't a secret left, or a dream that
hasn't been analyzed. But don't try to dissect her private thoughts. That's not the way
the game is played with Aquarians. She'll keep her motives hidden, and sometimes
take a perverse pleasure in deliberately confusing you. She'll usually be truthful to a
fault, but remember, with an Aquarian, telling a lie is one thing. Refraining from
telling the whole story is another.
It's comforting to know that an Aquarian girl is pretty cagey with a buck. That is, it's
comforting to know unless you're planning to hit her for a loan. She might say yes a
time or two, but if you let your credit rating slip, she can be colder than the guy at
the bank when you skip your car payment. On the rare occasions when she accepts a
small loan herself, you'll get back every penny with no stalling, excuses or feminine
wiles, if she's a typical Uranus female. As for every man's nightmare of charge
accounts, you'll have little worry on that score. Aquarian women are uncomfortable
about owing money. Bad debts don't fit in with the Uranus code.
Her appearance is puzzling. Most Aquarian women are lovely, with a haunting,
wistful beauty. But they're changeable. They can give an impression of smooth
whipped cream, then suddenly switch to salty pizza as quickly as a bright, blue, zig-
zag bolt of Uranian electricity. Next to Ubrans, Aquarian females are often the most
beautiful women in the zodiac. At the very least, they're interesting-looking. The
Aquarian manner of dressing can stop you dead in your tracks. There are a few of
them who could grace the cover of a fashion magazine, but the average Aquarian
girl is anything but conventional about her costumes. She can wear some outfits a
gypsy would envy, and her naked individuality can produce some mighty unique
combinations. She'll usually be the first to wear a new fad, no matter how zany it is,
yet she can also stick to Grandma's styles-even great-grandma's styles. With typical
- Aquarian indifference, she'll mix yesterday's lace snood with today's metallic jump
suit, and the effect can be a little startling. She'll wear her lace nightgown to a
formal banquet, ostrich feathers to the supermarket, bell bottom slacks to the opera,
sneakers to the theater, diamonds when she visits the zoo-and top it all off with a
faded Mother Hubbard she picked up in a thrift shop.
Your Aquarian girl will probably have an unusual way of wearing her hair. Her
tresses are as unpredictable as her personality. They can be worn braided, pig-tailed,
pinned in a bun, flowing down like a waterfall, short as a marine's, in Mary Pickford
curls or as straight as a poker. One thing you can depend on. Her hair won't look
like the hair of any other female on this planet.
A conversation with her can be remarkable, to say the least. She has charming
manners, and usually behaves in a timid, almost reserved way. Then comes one of
those sudden Uranus urges, and out will pop a remark with absolutely no relation to
what anyone is saying. You'll be talking about the fluctuations of the stock market,
and she'll interrupt out of nowhere with: "Did you know that Woodrow Wilson, Jack
Kennedy, Herbert Hoover, Harry Truman, Calvin Coolidge, Benjamin Harrison,
Franklin and Theodore Roosevelt and William McKinley all have double letters in
their names?" There's only one way to answer a question like that. Tell her she
missed Millard
Fillmore, Ulysses Grant and Thomas Jefferson. Then gently, but firmly, lead the
discussion back to the stock market. Other minds may progress in fairly logical
steps, but hers rigs into tomorrow, then zags back into today with no more sense of
direction than a flash of lightning. Now and then she'll toss off an unexpectedly
poignant phrase. You'll ask her what she thinks of space travel and she'll answer,
"When I was a little girl, I thought the stars were holes in the floor of heaven where
the light shone through." If she's in a different mood, you'll say that melted
snowmen make you sad, and shell counter with: "A melted snowman is just a pile of
slush, Charlie." First misty-then practical. First timid-then rowdy. Aquarian women
will rudely ridicule flying saucers, then tell you a story about a polka-dotted elf on a
windowsill. Never talk down to an Aquarian female. She'll resent not being
considered your equal, and an unsympathetic attitude will cause her to retreat and
become unapproachable.
Since Uranus rules the future, you might imagine that these girls would be natural
mothers. Children do, after all, belong to the future. But the average Aquarian
woman may be bewildered by motherhood in the beginning. She has to adjust to
devoting all her attention and energy exclusively to one human being for a period of
time, when she's used to spreading herself far and wide, and this can take some
practice. Her natural aloofness may make it difficult for her to demonstrate warm
affection outwardly. The typical Aquarian mother is devoted to her offspring, but
also somewhat detached toward them. But shell probably be the most willing PTA
worker in the neighborhood. She'll talk happily for hours with their small friends on
their own level without patronizing them, and she'll give up her afternoons to work
for a school project. The children will learn the lessons of brotherhood and
humanity from her by observation. Aquarian mothers are never fiercely protective
of their children. They take a tolerant view of the most startling confession. A
Uranus woman will seldom punish a child for telling the truth, no matter what he's
done. With her unprejudiced viewpoint, she'll gain the complete confidence of her
little ones. She's great at reassuring young minds about everything from monsters
hiding under the bed to the pain of being ignored in the playground. She can turn
their tears to laughter in minutes. Your children will find her jolly fun, a little helter-
skelter, relaxed about housework, helpful with homework and gentle when they're
ill. She won't smother them with affection, and she'll seldom nag. Maybe Tommy
didn't wash his hands the third time he was told, but she's more interested in what he
learned in science class.
We may be a little ahead of ourselves. Even though Uranus likes to reverse the
existing orders of things, before your Aquarian girl becomes a mother she has to
become a wife. And before she becomes your wife, you'll have to convince her that
marriage isn't synonymous with Al-catraz. She won't exactly rush into matrimony.
She's in no hurry to take your name until she's weighed you, sorted you, tested you,
and found out what makes you tick. The opinions of her friends and family will
mean nothing, though she may ask them what they think out of curiosity. She has
her own yardstick for measuring you. Assuming you pass her test, marriage to an
Aquarian girl can be confusing. She'll listen pleasantly when you give her advice,
but there's something in the Uranian make-up that prevents her from following
directions explicitly. She can't stick to the recipe when she bakes one of her angel
food cakes anymore than she can park the car exactly where you told her to. There's
some kind of a snag in her thinking that causes her to believe just a little twist will
improve anything. But shell smile agreeably as she goes on her own sweet way.
There's a constant urge to experiment with a different way to make the coffee, fill
her pen, fasten her ice skates or cross the street. She'll wear a sweater backwards,
mix her brandy with milk, arrange flowers in a fish bowl, rinse her hair in shaving
lotion or make a rock garden on your desk. But don't ask her why. She doesn't know
herself. The unique and unusual is her wave-length, that's all.
Because her nature is so impersonal, expressions of deep feeling won't come easily.
Except for those sudden remarks that sound likes a combination of Robert Frost and
Yogi Berra, she has few words with which to express her love, and her pattern of
physical passion is woven closely with threads connected to the mind and soul.
Although the unique Uranus outlook leads some Aquarian girls into peculiar
attachments, once they find the right mate their marriages are usually models of
happiness.
Your Aquarian woman can float through her days and nights with all the grace of a
proud swan, but she may behave like a clumsy bear in romantic situations. The line
between friendship and love is often all but invisible to Aquarius. Love songs about
people who only have eyes for each other strike her as silly. There are so many
miracles in the world for eyes to behold, it seems to her a terrible waste for two
pairs of them to do nothing but gaze into each other's depths. Shell be glad to let you
take her hand and walk beside her as she looks with happy delight on the sunrise, an
antique car, the milkman's horse, a yellow garbage pail, a stuffed owl or a red
balloon caught in a church steeple. But don't distract her with too much to-
getherness. Let her wander through her wonderland alone when she chooses, and
she'll never question your pinochle games with the boys.
The quickest ways to lose her are to show jealousy, pos-sessiveness or prejudice; to
be critical, stuffy or ultra-conservative. You'll also have to like her friends, who will
come in odd, assorted sizes and shapes.
She's susceptible to sudden flashes of inspiration, and her intuition is remarkable.
Her judgment may not seem sound or practical at first, because she sees months and
years ahead. The Aquarian girl lives in tomorrow, and you can only visit there
through her. What she says will come true, perhaps after many delays and troubles,
but it will come true. I suppose, after all, that's the most special thing about your
February woman. She's a little bit magic
The AQUARIUS Child
The dream-child moving through a land
Of wonders wild and new, In friendly chat with bird or beast-
And half believe it true.
According to Mother Goose, if your offspring is dressed in blue, he's made of snips
and snails and puppy-dog tails. It baby is wearing pink, she's made of sugar and
spice, and everything nice. But if he or she was born in February, dress him in an
aquamarine cap and electric blue booties and forget that old rhyme. This infant is
made of the raw material of Uranus, and he's going to make you chase him into
tomorrow.
He's a quivering, sensitive, stubborn, independent mass of invention and electrical
impulses. Even if he has a slow and careful Taurus ascendant, his mental processes
will be as fast as Uranian lightning. His thoughts will vibrate like high frequency
radio beams, and as he grows up, you may feel like sending out an S.O.S. yourself.
Every mother and father think their child is special- different and unique, compared
to other youngsters. But this one is just ridiculous. Lots of parents of a young
Aquarian puzzle whether to send him out on the farm, where he won't frighten
neighbors, or let the word casually get around that he may win the Pulitzer prize
someday. Which route should you take? You have a problem. Yes, you do. The
Pulitzer is possible, but my advice would be to try the farm for a few summers and
watch. Observe. Wait. He's liable to invent a new plow, or just eat them out of
house and home. It depends. There's never a cut and dried rule with Aquarians.
I know one New York mother who just called her Uranian son "the Bronx Wonder"
and let it go at that At least her relatives and neighbors were as mystified as she
was. Nobody knew if the nickname meant he had three heads or he was headed for
the Hall of Fame. As it turned out, he was a pretty good basketball player, and most
folks thought that's why he had the tag. But they shouldn't have been so hasty. The
story's not over yet. He's presently rotating between composing the score for a
musical which may go on Broadway or in the wastebasket, playing bit parts in
detective films, and making himself available for TV commercials. (The kind that
need men from Mars types for flying saucer approaches on soft-sell automobile
spots.) He's also working on an invention in his bedroom (between watching the
Mets play and eating pickle sandwiches), but since he won't tell anyone what it is, I
can't give you any clues. He has a kind of thing about clocks and watches, so it may
have something to do with a time machine (a common Aquarian obsession). Well,
well see. There's no rush. Lots of Aquarians don't break loose and shower electric
sparks of genius on a waiting world until they're a young fifty. It makes it all a little
nervewracking, waiting around like that. Of course, there are quite a few
Aquarian child prodigies, but we're tangled up enough trying to figure out your
average Aquarian youngster (and I use the term average loosely).
He may end up working for the FBI or a private eye outfit (he loves to figure out
mysteries), and become an ordinary, sensible, conservative citizen. (Don't hold your
breath, but it's a possibility.) We'd better concentrate on his tender years. That way,
you'll have a fighting chance to guide this Uranus rocket in some kind of direction.
Until maturity has mellowed Uranian influences, and society has molded more
conventional attitudes, an Aquarian youngster can be strongly negative. The
immediate reaction to a command (or even a pleasant suggestion) is often an
emphatic no. But let him think about it, mull it over, and it's surprising how many
times his final reaction will be sensible-the answer he found by himself correct and
acceptable.
These boys and girls can be calm and sweetly docile on the surface, but the north
wind can turn them suddenly topsy turvy. (Except that, with an Aquarian, it could
be turvy topsy. You can expect anything.) Unpredictable in their behavior, but
lovable and often amusing, the February child can be quite a spinning propeller to
contend with. I used that analogy because Aquarians and Uranus rule air flight,
planes and Charles Lindbergh and things like that. Yet, these youngsters are so full
of contradictions, instead of taking to flight naturally, many of them have a strange,
unreasonable fear of planes and elevators-even electricity (also ruled by Uranus). It
isn't easy to direct them or channel them. They have no idea where they're going,
but they have definite ideas about how to get there.
Raising and teaching these "wonders" can be a big responsibility. Their minds
combine fixed practicality with uncanny perception and sharp, probing logic. Mix it
all up and it can be acutely embarrassing, like when your little Aquarian asks your
best friend why she got her face lifted (she did)-or asks your Uncle Elmer why he
cheated on his income tax in front of the Internal Revenue man (he did).
They love to do favors for friends. Buy your little Aquarian boy a brand new pair of
boots and he's likely to wear them out the first day-smoothing down the snow to
make it slick so the neighborhood kids can use their sleds.
Expect your February child to have a dream and hold it fast-until he gets another
one. With a girl, it's likely to be a projection of herself as a prima ballerina, with a
pure dedication to her art that would put Pavlova to shame, a thirst to be the first
woman president or a hunger to follow in the footsteps of Madame Curie. With the
boys, it could be an oceanographer, ichthyologist, archaeologist, anthropologist, an
exterminator or a tree surgeon. Normal career choices like nurses, secretaries,
clerks, salesmen, teachers, bankers and brokers are too mundane for the average
Aquarian child's fantasies. He may have to settle for one eventually, but the original
dream will be tucked under his left ear and not forgotten. It's eerie, but Aquarians
can sometimes cause a thing to happen by simply concentrating on it and waiting.
You'll never know quite what to expect from day to day. This is a child who may
not want to stay indoors when it rains. He'll be out with your best sterling silver
table-spoon, digging a drain so the hill in back of the house won't wash away.
Remember the old verse you heard as a child that went, "The bear went over the
mountain-the bear went over the mountain-the bear went over the mountain-to see
what he could see. The other side of the mountain- the other side of the mountain-
the other side of the mountain-was all that he could see." Your Aquarius youngster
will have better luck. He'll find something there. Maybe it will be a pot of gold or
just a new species of woodpecker, but none of his exploratory journeys will ever
result in a dead end or a total loss.
I skipped over the infant stage because these children are never infants. They are
born middle-aged. However, many of them do go through the toddler stage, and
during that precarious period you might be wise to consider buying a seeing-eye
dog. Keep the dog until your little Uranian is at least ten. He may have trouble
navigating the block without an incident. Off on his own private cloud, he'll lope
down the street in a fog, and ram right into a telephone pole or a mailbox. Aquarian
absent-mindedness brings on twisted ankles, broken bones and the wrath of
teachers. You may be torn between pride, when the school reports he or she is a
budding genius-and shame, when you receive a note saying, "Oliver simply won't
pay attention in class. He stares out the window all day and plays with his two-way
wrist watch." Or "Gertrude refuses to concentrate. Instead of studying, she just sits
there and flexes her arches in those silly ballet slippers." A lecture to Oliver and
Gertrude will result in a shrug of bored impatience. What's all the fuss about? He
was trying to figure the effect of the summer solstice on Greenwich Mean Time, and
she was wondering what makes a caterpillar turn into a butterfly. To their minds,
that's perfectly logical. Cheel What a square school. Granted, they are on the right
track. But this may not be the century to prove it.
Teachers often complain that the Aquarian child refuses to explain, step by step,
how he arrived at his remarkable answer to a complicated math problem before she
finished writing it on the blackboard. There's a good, sensible reason. His Uranian
intuition, that works by some kind of unseen radio waves, forced his mind through
those steps so quickly he just can't remember. Almost all Aquarian children were
behind the delivery-room door when memory was passed out. Forgetting their
address is frequent, forgetting their last name is uncomfortably possible, and
forgetting what time to come home is par-for-the-course. Your brilliant-and he most
likely is-Uranus youngster must be taught that his aim should encompass more than
being a human computer. He needs to leam the importance of organizing his
thoughts in logical order. Otherwise, a potential genius, philosopher, engineer,
scientist, doctor, lawyer-gardener or cab driver (the last two if you're lucky) can turn
into an eccentric adult, headed in several directions at once, and end up going
around in interesting, but not very profitable, circles.
Encourage him to participate in physical activity or a harmful inertia can take over
and hell daydream the hours away. It .often takes an emergency to spur Aquarian
children to physical action, though they can have a great love for sports. Mentally,
they're speed demons. But the body may be a bit slower, at least around the house.
They may have an empathy for birds, trees, nature and the seashore. They'll always
prefer their own independent discovery to organized activity. You'll have to watch
for a tendency to say "I can't" to rationalize the urge to avoid responsibility. The
Aquarian child may take the path of least resistance if you let him. Teach him that
he's only fooling himself. Let him make his own decisions, but encourage him to act
on them.
Unspoken tension can deeply disturb him. These young-•ters can almost see into
the souls of others, and hear thoughts which haven't even been audibly expressed,
which can disturb them and leave lasting feelings of unhappiness. Better encourage
tranquility and harmony, concentration and memory, if you don't want an eccentric,
nervous, absent-minded bachelor or spinster with unfulfilled dreams on your hands
in thirty years or so.
Be careful what you say and how you say it with Aquarian youngsters. Suggestions
planted in these fertile, remarkably acute Uranian minds in childhood can take firm
root and form fixed adult opinions. Undue emphasis on clean hands, repeated
warnings, "Don't drink out of my glass, it's dirty," can cause the Aquarian youngster
to grow up with exaggerated fears and carry his own goblet in his pocket when he
goes visiting. Being so accident prone, you can imagine what will happen if he sits
down suddenly with that goblet there. And he does do almost everything suddenly.
Aquarian boys and girls have multitudes of friends. They make at least ten new ones
per day, from the street cleaner to the truant officer and the ex-parachutist who runs
the candy store. He might even bring home a little friend named Rockefeller for
lunch someday, too, but don't let it shake you. You're not raising a social snob. He
won't know him from the dog catcher. He's just another "pal."
Adolescent problems of romance may never bother you. In fact, the Aquarian child
may have to be reminded which sex is which. Few of these youngsters are boy crazy
or girl crazy. Just plain crazy is more of a possibility, especially when they start
wearing those weird clothes and parting their hair in such an odd way. This may be
about the time his hidden love of poetry emerges, which should be encouraged.
Your little Uranian has frogs in his pockets and stars in his eyes, but he's very
special. He's a humanitarian. He loves people. Do you know how rare that is? As
society moves into the Aquarian age, his unprejudiced wisdom is leading us.
Aquarian boys and girls have been chosen by destiny to fulfill the promise of to-
morrow-frogs and stars, pickle sandwiches and all. Just nickname him the
"Twentieth Century Wonder," and let the neighbors guess why.
Of wonders wild and new, In friendly chat with bird or beast-
And half believe it true.
According to Mother Goose, if your offspring is dressed in blue, he's made of snips
and snails and puppy-dog tails. It baby is wearing pink, she's made of sugar and
spice, and everything nice. But if he or she was born in February, dress him in an
aquamarine cap and electric blue booties and forget that old rhyme. This infant is
made of the raw material of Uranus, and he's going to make you chase him into
tomorrow.
He's a quivering, sensitive, stubborn, independent mass of invention and electrical
impulses. Even if he has a slow and careful Taurus ascendant, his mental processes
will be as fast as Uranian lightning. His thoughts will vibrate like high frequency
radio beams, and as he grows up, you may feel like sending out an S.O.S. yourself.
Every mother and father think their child is special- different and unique, compared
to other youngsters. But this one is just ridiculous. Lots of parents of a young
Aquarian puzzle whether to send him out on the farm, where he won't frighten
neighbors, or let the word casually get around that he may win the Pulitzer prize
someday. Which route should you take? You have a problem. Yes, you do. The
Pulitzer is possible, but my advice would be to try the farm for a few summers and
watch. Observe. Wait. He's liable to invent a new plow, or just eat them out of
house and home. It depends. There's never a cut and dried rule with Aquarians.
I know one New York mother who just called her Uranian son "the Bronx Wonder"
and let it go at that At least her relatives and neighbors were as mystified as she
was. Nobody knew if the nickname meant he had three heads or he was headed for
the Hall of Fame. As it turned out, he was a pretty good basketball player, and most
folks thought that's why he had the tag. But they shouldn't have been so hasty. The
story's not over yet. He's presently rotating between composing the score for a
musical which may go on Broadway or in the wastebasket, playing bit parts in
detective films, and making himself available for TV commercials. (The kind that
need men from Mars types for flying saucer approaches on soft-sell automobile
spots.) He's also working on an invention in his bedroom (between watching the
Mets play and eating pickle sandwiches), but since he won't tell anyone what it is, I
can't give you any clues. He has a kind of thing about clocks and watches, so it may
have something to do with a time machine (a common Aquarian obsession). Well,
well see. There's no rush. Lots of Aquarians don't break loose and shower electric
sparks of genius on a waiting world until they're a young fifty. It makes it all a little
nervewracking, waiting around like that. Of course, there are quite a few
Aquarian child prodigies, but we're tangled up enough trying to figure out your
average Aquarian youngster (and I use the term average loosely).
He may end up working for the FBI or a private eye outfit (he loves to figure out
mysteries), and become an ordinary, sensible, conservative citizen. (Don't hold your
breath, but it's a possibility.) We'd better concentrate on his tender years. That way,
you'll have a fighting chance to guide this Uranus rocket in some kind of direction.
Until maturity has mellowed Uranian influences, and society has molded more
conventional attitudes, an Aquarian youngster can be strongly negative. The
immediate reaction to a command (or even a pleasant suggestion) is often an
emphatic no. But let him think about it, mull it over, and it's surprising how many
times his final reaction will be sensible-the answer he found by himself correct and
acceptable.
These boys and girls can be calm and sweetly docile on the surface, but the north
wind can turn them suddenly topsy turvy. (Except that, with an Aquarian, it could
be turvy topsy. You can expect anything.) Unpredictable in their behavior, but
lovable and often amusing, the February child can be quite a spinning propeller to
contend with. I used that analogy because Aquarians and Uranus rule air flight,
planes and Charles Lindbergh and things like that. Yet, these youngsters are so full
of contradictions, instead of taking to flight naturally, many of them have a strange,
unreasonable fear of planes and elevators-even electricity (also ruled by Uranus). It
isn't easy to direct them or channel them. They have no idea where they're going,
but they have definite ideas about how to get there.
Raising and teaching these "wonders" can be a big responsibility. Their minds
combine fixed practicality with uncanny perception and sharp, probing logic. Mix it
all up and it can be acutely embarrassing, like when your little Aquarian asks your
best friend why she got her face lifted (she did)-or asks your Uncle Elmer why he
cheated on his income tax in front of the Internal Revenue man (he did).
They love to do favors for friends. Buy your little Aquarian boy a brand new pair of
boots and he's likely to wear them out the first day-smoothing down the snow to
make it slick so the neighborhood kids can use their sleds.
Expect your February child to have a dream and hold it fast-until he gets another
one. With a girl, it's likely to be a projection of herself as a prima ballerina, with a
pure dedication to her art that would put Pavlova to shame, a thirst to be the first
woman president or a hunger to follow in the footsteps of Madame Curie. With the
boys, it could be an oceanographer, ichthyologist, archaeologist, anthropologist, an
exterminator or a tree surgeon. Normal career choices like nurses, secretaries,
clerks, salesmen, teachers, bankers and brokers are too mundane for the average
Aquarian child's fantasies. He may have to settle for one eventually, but the original
dream will be tucked under his left ear and not forgotten. It's eerie, but Aquarians
can sometimes cause a thing to happen by simply concentrating on it and waiting.
You'll never know quite what to expect from day to day. This is a child who may
not want to stay indoors when it rains. He'll be out with your best sterling silver
table-spoon, digging a drain so the hill in back of the house won't wash away.
Remember the old verse you heard as a child that went, "The bear went over the
mountain-the bear went over the mountain-the bear went over the mountain-to see
what he could see. The other side of the mountain- the other side of the mountain-
the other side of the mountain-was all that he could see." Your Aquarius youngster
will have better luck. He'll find something there. Maybe it will be a pot of gold or
just a new species of woodpecker, but none of his exploratory journeys will ever
result in a dead end or a total loss.
I skipped over the infant stage because these children are never infants. They are
born middle-aged. However, many of them do go through the toddler stage, and
during that precarious period you might be wise to consider buying a seeing-eye
dog. Keep the dog until your little Uranian is at least ten. He may have trouble
navigating the block without an incident. Off on his own private cloud, he'll lope
down the street in a fog, and ram right into a telephone pole or a mailbox. Aquarian
absent-mindedness brings on twisted ankles, broken bones and the wrath of
teachers. You may be torn between pride, when the school reports he or she is a
budding genius-and shame, when you receive a note saying, "Oliver simply won't
pay attention in class. He stares out the window all day and plays with his two-way
wrist watch." Or "Gertrude refuses to concentrate. Instead of studying, she just sits
there and flexes her arches in those silly ballet slippers." A lecture to Oliver and
Gertrude will result in a shrug of bored impatience. What's all the fuss about? He
was trying to figure the effect of the summer solstice on Greenwich Mean Time, and
she was wondering what makes a caterpillar turn into a butterfly. To their minds,
that's perfectly logical. Cheel What a square school. Granted, they are on the right
track. But this may not be the century to prove it.
Teachers often complain that the Aquarian child refuses to explain, step by step,
how he arrived at his remarkable answer to a complicated math problem before she
finished writing it on the blackboard. There's a good, sensible reason. His Uranian
intuition, that works by some kind of unseen radio waves, forced his mind through
those steps so quickly he just can't remember. Almost all Aquarian children were
behind the delivery-room door when memory was passed out. Forgetting their
address is frequent, forgetting their last name is uncomfortably possible, and
forgetting what time to come home is par-for-the-course. Your brilliant-and he most
likely is-Uranus youngster must be taught that his aim should encompass more than
being a human computer. He needs to leam the importance of organizing his
thoughts in logical order. Otherwise, a potential genius, philosopher, engineer,
scientist, doctor, lawyer-gardener or cab driver (the last two if you're lucky) can turn
into an eccentric adult, headed in several directions at once, and end up going
around in interesting, but not very profitable, circles.
Encourage him to participate in physical activity or a harmful inertia can take over
and hell daydream the hours away. It .often takes an emergency to spur Aquarian
children to physical action, though they can have a great love for sports. Mentally,
they're speed demons. But the body may be a bit slower, at least around the house.
They may have an empathy for birds, trees, nature and the seashore. They'll always
prefer their own independent discovery to organized activity. You'll have to watch
for a tendency to say "I can't" to rationalize the urge to avoid responsibility. The
Aquarian child may take the path of least resistance if you let him. Teach him that
he's only fooling himself. Let him make his own decisions, but encourage him to act
on them.
Unspoken tension can deeply disturb him. These young-•ters can almost see into
the souls of others, and hear thoughts which haven't even been audibly expressed,
which can disturb them and leave lasting feelings of unhappiness. Better encourage
tranquility and harmony, concentration and memory, if you don't want an eccentric,
nervous, absent-minded bachelor or spinster with unfulfilled dreams on your hands
in thirty years or so.
Be careful what you say and how you say it with Aquarian youngsters. Suggestions
planted in these fertile, remarkably acute Uranian minds in childhood can take firm
root and form fixed adult opinions. Undue emphasis on clean hands, repeated
warnings, "Don't drink out of my glass, it's dirty," can cause the Aquarian youngster
to grow up with exaggerated fears and carry his own goblet in his pocket when he
goes visiting. Being so accident prone, you can imagine what will happen if he sits
down suddenly with that goblet there. And he does do almost everything suddenly.
Aquarian boys and girls have multitudes of friends. They make at least ten new ones
per day, from the street cleaner to the truant officer and the ex-parachutist who runs
the candy store. He might even bring home a little friend named Rockefeller for
lunch someday, too, but don't let it shake you. You're not raising a social snob. He
won't know him from the dog catcher. He's just another "pal."
Adolescent problems of romance may never bother you. In fact, the Aquarian child
may have to be reminded which sex is which. Few of these youngsters are boy crazy
or girl crazy. Just plain crazy is more of a possibility, especially when they start
wearing those weird clothes and parting their hair in such an odd way. This may be
about the time his hidden love of poetry emerges, which should be encouraged.
Your little Uranian has frogs in his pockets and stars in his eyes, but he's very
special. He's a humanitarian. He loves people. Do you know how rare that is? As
society moves into the Aquarian age, his unprejudiced wisdom is leading us.
Aquarian boys and girls have been chosen by destiny to fulfill the promise of to-
morrow-frogs and stars, pickle sandwiches and all. Just nickname him the
"Twentieth Century Wonder," and let the neighbors guess why.
The AQUARIUS Boss
"What sort of things do you remember best?"
Alice ventured to ask. "Oh, things that happened
the week after next."
First of all, check again. Are you sure his birthday is late January or early February?
Are you absolutely positive your boss is an Aquarian? Uranus-ruled executives are
as rare as albino pandas. If you have one for a boss, you can't very well sell him to a
zoo, but consider him a collector's item, anyway. Someday, he may be extremely
valuable.
Seriously, the typical Aquarian would just about prefer starvation to the usual nine-
to-five office routine. Most Aquarians dislike making decisions, they are uncomfort-
able giving orders, they have no particular desire to direct others and they're totally
incompatible with stuffy board meetings, let alone stuffy vice presidents. This
doesn't mean Aquarians are not competent bosses. Uranus is full of surprises, and
the totally unqualified Aquarian boss who turns out to be absolutely indispensable is
one of them.
When an occasional Aquarian wanders into an executive position, burdened by all
the above negative qualifications, he simply pulls a couple of new tricks out of his
bag. He may be absent-minded and forgetful, eccentric and unpredictable, by turns
shy and then bold, but he also has a mind like a bear trap hidden behind those
strange, vague eyes and that detached, distant attitude. Add to that a highly tuned,
perceptive intuitiveness which makes you think he has a crystal ball tucked in a
pocket. Throw in his uncanny ability to analyze, dissect and weigh the facts with
insight as keen as a razor blade-and for good measure-his sure instinct in making a
warm friend of everyone from the office boy to the firm's biggest customer. Back it
up with the broad, liberal Uranus philosophy which sees miles into tomorrow, and
catches the big picture in all its scope while others are floundering over details-and
you see what I mean by surprises. Unfitted as the average Aquarian is for an
executive role, he tosses off the job as casually as if he had been born to it, which he
definitely was not.
There's the other side of the coin, too. He may possibly refer to you as "My
secretary, Miss ... ah ... ah ... Miss ... uh ... what was your name again?" He can be
maddening when he plans complicated programs behind your back and springs them
on you at the last minute. And I'm sure you've chafed under his frustrating habit of
giving you a completely new and unexpected job to do, blithely neglecting to
explain the reason behind the change. But confess now, under it all he really is
rather a lovable old dear, isn't he? Most Aquarians are, once you get used to their
peculiar ways, sudden changes and unexpected surprises. Also, I might add, their
fixed opinions when they've made up their mind.
If I were you, I wouldn't try to borrow money from an Aquarian boss. If he's a
typical Aquarian, he doesn't approve of people living beyond their income. Some
Aquarians, of course, live in comfortable luxurious surroundings -but most of them
are quite capable of living in one shabby room while they spend twenty hours a day
promoting better housing for the poor. He won't be impulsive about giving raises,
but then, he won't be stingy either. You'll get just about what you deserve with your
Aquarian boss. No more and no less. He can be most generous when he thinks
someone has done a top job beyond the call of duty. Make no mistake. He'll expect
your best-your very best. Anything less brings the danger of being politely and
kindly, but firmly dropped. Kerplunk-like that. An Aquarian has no use for people
who goof off or give half a day's work for a full day's pay. To him, that's a form of
dishonesty, and he hates dishonesty in approximately the same degree that a cat
hates the water.
When it comes to your personal life, the Aquarian boss hasn't the slightest desire
either to judge you or advise you. He does have a desire to know about it, however,
and you may find it hard to escape that probing Uranus curiosity when it comes to
your private affairs. But you can tell him anything at all without worrying that he'll
be shocked. Nothing shocks him. He's the best student of human nature in the
zodiac, and he'll never look down on you (anymore than he'll look up to you). Both
your vices and your virtues blend into an interesting and colorful pattern, as far as
he's concerned. He takes it all in stride, and it doesn't make a ripple in his opinion of
you. The town drunk and the silly, giggling teenager are as much his friends and as
close to him as the president of the local university and the state senator. You'll find
literally no prejudice or discrimination if he's a true Aquarian. In other words, you're
in danger of being fired if he catches you stealing stamps or hiding an unfinished
report in your desk-but if he discovers you're a bigamist, that your father served two
terms in prison, your son smokes pot or your wife practices yoga on the back porch
in her birthday suit, he'll just shrug, figure it's your life and probably defend you to
your critics. The Aquarian boss won't be bothered one whit if you're a conservative
politically and you paste a picture of Calvin Coolidge next to his painting of
Franklin Roosevelt. He won't bat an eye at the news that you had to be poured into a
taxi after the last office party. Just don't cheat him, lie to him or-heaven forbid -
break your word to him. Promises and ethics and such are where he falls into the
narrow-minded category.
Unlike the Aries or Leo boss, he won't exert energy trying to convince you that
you're making a mistake in voting for that man, dating that girl or wearing that color
tie. And, unlike the Cancer, Capricorn or Libra boss, he won't hint and use
persuasive strategy to change your viewpoint. Live your life the way you choose
and more power to you for being an individualist is his creed. On the other hand,
don't ever attempt to dictate his personal code to him, either. He won't show any
anger, or probably even feel any. He may even smile and nod thoughtfully, with that
faraway look in his eyes, but you might as well talk to the wall. He'll listen to almost
anybody. Listen.
That's all.
Although he forms his own code of ethics and keeps his own counsel in relation to
his personal and private life, business decisions are another matter. He's very likely,
if he's like the average Uranian man, to request everyone's -opinion on projected
procedures-and sometimes even ask a subordinate to make the final decision.
There's a method to this madness, and it's not the same as with the indecisive
Libran. Aquarius isn't passing the buck. He enjoys sitting back with an I-told-you-so
look when the decision you made (against his acutely accurate intuition) falls as, flat
as a pancake-to teach you a lesson. You do have to watch that. Aquarian bosses are
usually willing to give you all the rope you need to hang yourself with and another
several yards besides, if you ask for it. You're lucky if he explains even once just
exactly why he thinks you're on the wrong track. When he's done that-which is un-
usual enough-he won't explain a second time. You take it from there. Catch it
clearly the first time or youll get some confusing double-talk to remind you to pay
attention to what he says.
He expects you to be able to wiggle your antennae and pick up anything you've
missed out of the atmosphere. He doesn't realize that other people don't have his
Uranian gift for absorbing information from three people talking all at once while he
peels an orange, dials a phone number and shuffles through a stack of inter-office
memos.
Don't get too set in your ways around an Aquarian executive. You're liable to walk
in some morning and find your office has been moved to another floor and he forgot
to tell you. There's always change in the air around this man. You may have the
unsettling experience of having him sweep down unexpectedly one day with a big,
warm, friendly grin and throw your entire system out the window -the system the
office has been using since the Civil War. In its place he'll substitute a new method,
faster and less cluttered with detail. You say you can't adjust that quickly? You need
at least six months to make the change and the new system is Greek to you at this
point? He can't understand that. It's perfectly clear to him. Don't worry, you'll catch
on. Hell wait. He's patient.
And that he is. The normal Uranus-ruled mind may be full of nervous curiosity just
beneath the surface, but generally the Aquarian takes it fairly easy, and projects an
image of calm and thoughtful deliberation. You'll notice I said generally. Of course,
there was the time he actually ran out of the office to catch those six fire trucks, the
turtle race he staged on his carpet with real turtles, and the day he had those
miniature TV sets delivered to each desk during the World Series. And of course
there was that morning he took over the switchboard, just to see what it was like,
mixed up all the calls, disconnected everyone, accidentally got a big TV network
veep on a crossed wire and sold him a half a million dollar deal-then forgot the
man's name when he came in to sign the contract. But normally he's placid and
controlled. So he's a little eccentric now and then: he has the water cooler moved
once a month so you can't find it, and he likes to change your day off with no notice.
What are a few minor annoyances like that when you work for a boss who's
sincerely fascinated by that book you're writing on Kansas City jazz? And how can
you stay mad at a boss who doesn't mind if the bookkeeper grows a beard, his
secretary wears white fur boots with rhinestone heels to work or the new filing clerk
parks his bicycle in the reception room?
He may spend one day talking your ear off, and the next week secluded inside his
office, ignoring staff, customers and suppliers, deep in lonely thought. He's resting
his soul, and those periods of retreat are necessary. Regardless of how recently you
joined the firm, he'll consider you his friend. He's even good friends with the
competition. No matter what it says on your company letterhead, the real business
of your Aquarian boss is friendship. Somebody discussing today's corporate
conformity recently said, "Give me back the good old-time individualist executive
with the gravy spots on his tie, who got things done without calling a committee
meeting for every little snag." The poor man Was undoubtedly undergoing a rush of
nostalgia for an Aquarian boss he had years ago.
Those of you who work for a Uranian probably don't have the common problem of
the boss's wife dropping in unexpectedly while things are a mess and the painters
are tearing the reception room apart. She's lucky if she knows where he works, let
alone has permission to drop in on him. Aquarians don't confide every little activity
to their wives. I used to live next door to the February-born executive of a research
firm who once didn't get around to telling his wife he had to fly to Europe on
business until he arrived there and noticed he didn't have any clean shirts. (He was
quite put out about it, and he told her so when he phoned her from London.
Somehow, it was all her fault. She should have anticipated he might make a trip.)
Funny how you kept remembering all the idiosyncrasies of your own Aquarian
executive last week while you watched him get the Man of the Year award from the
mayor at that big formal banquet. You had just decided that, regardless of his
unpredictable ways and his dippy habits, he was actually one of the most
distinguished bosses a person could have. Then you happened to look down under
the table-and there were his feet tapping the rug impatiently, clad in neat black dress
shoes, wearing one blue sock and one yellow sock.
Alice ventured to ask. "Oh, things that happened
the week after next."
First of all, check again. Are you sure his birthday is late January or early February?
Are you absolutely positive your boss is an Aquarian? Uranus-ruled executives are
as rare as albino pandas. If you have one for a boss, you can't very well sell him to a
zoo, but consider him a collector's item, anyway. Someday, he may be extremely
valuable.
Seriously, the typical Aquarian would just about prefer starvation to the usual nine-
to-five office routine. Most Aquarians dislike making decisions, they are uncomfort-
able giving orders, they have no particular desire to direct others and they're totally
incompatible with stuffy board meetings, let alone stuffy vice presidents. This
doesn't mean Aquarians are not competent bosses. Uranus is full of surprises, and
the totally unqualified Aquarian boss who turns out to be absolutely indispensable is
one of them.
When an occasional Aquarian wanders into an executive position, burdened by all
the above negative qualifications, he simply pulls a couple of new tricks out of his
bag. He may be absent-minded and forgetful, eccentric and unpredictable, by turns
shy and then bold, but he also has a mind like a bear trap hidden behind those
strange, vague eyes and that detached, distant attitude. Add to that a highly tuned,
perceptive intuitiveness which makes you think he has a crystal ball tucked in a
pocket. Throw in his uncanny ability to analyze, dissect and weigh the facts with
insight as keen as a razor blade-and for good measure-his sure instinct in making a
warm friend of everyone from the office boy to the firm's biggest customer. Back it
up with the broad, liberal Uranus philosophy which sees miles into tomorrow, and
catches the big picture in all its scope while others are floundering over details-and
you see what I mean by surprises. Unfitted as the average Aquarian is for an
executive role, he tosses off the job as casually as if he had been born to it, which he
definitely was not.
There's the other side of the coin, too. He may possibly refer to you as "My
secretary, Miss ... ah ... ah ... Miss ... uh ... what was your name again?" He can be
maddening when he plans complicated programs behind your back and springs them
on you at the last minute. And I'm sure you've chafed under his frustrating habit of
giving you a completely new and unexpected job to do, blithely neglecting to
explain the reason behind the change. But confess now, under it all he really is
rather a lovable old dear, isn't he? Most Aquarians are, once you get used to their
peculiar ways, sudden changes and unexpected surprises. Also, I might add, their
fixed opinions when they've made up their mind.
If I were you, I wouldn't try to borrow money from an Aquarian boss. If he's a
typical Aquarian, he doesn't approve of people living beyond their income. Some
Aquarians, of course, live in comfortable luxurious surroundings -but most of them
are quite capable of living in one shabby room while they spend twenty hours a day
promoting better housing for the poor. He won't be impulsive about giving raises,
but then, he won't be stingy either. You'll get just about what you deserve with your
Aquarian boss. No more and no less. He can be most generous when he thinks
someone has done a top job beyond the call of duty. Make no mistake. He'll expect
your best-your very best. Anything less brings the danger of being politely and
kindly, but firmly dropped. Kerplunk-like that. An Aquarian has no use for people
who goof off or give half a day's work for a full day's pay. To him, that's a form of
dishonesty, and he hates dishonesty in approximately the same degree that a cat
hates the water.
When it comes to your personal life, the Aquarian boss hasn't the slightest desire
either to judge you or advise you. He does have a desire to know about it, however,
and you may find it hard to escape that probing Uranus curiosity when it comes to
your private affairs. But you can tell him anything at all without worrying that he'll
be shocked. Nothing shocks him. He's the best student of human nature in the
zodiac, and he'll never look down on you (anymore than he'll look up to you). Both
your vices and your virtues blend into an interesting and colorful pattern, as far as
he's concerned. He takes it all in stride, and it doesn't make a ripple in his opinion of
you. The town drunk and the silly, giggling teenager are as much his friends and as
close to him as the president of the local university and the state senator. You'll find
literally no prejudice or discrimination if he's a true Aquarian. In other words, you're
in danger of being fired if he catches you stealing stamps or hiding an unfinished
report in your desk-but if he discovers you're a bigamist, that your father served two
terms in prison, your son smokes pot or your wife practices yoga on the back porch
in her birthday suit, he'll just shrug, figure it's your life and probably defend you to
your critics. The Aquarian boss won't be bothered one whit if you're a conservative
politically and you paste a picture of Calvin Coolidge next to his painting of
Franklin Roosevelt. He won't bat an eye at the news that you had to be poured into a
taxi after the last office party. Just don't cheat him, lie to him or-heaven forbid -
break your word to him. Promises and ethics and such are where he falls into the
narrow-minded category.
Unlike the Aries or Leo boss, he won't exert energy trying to convince you that
you're making a mistake in voting for that man, dating that girl or wearing that color
tie. And, unlike the Cancer, Capricorn or Libra boss, he won't hint and use
persuasive strategy to change your viewpoint. Live your life the way you choose
and more power to you for being an individualist is his creed. On the other hand,
don't ever attempt to dictate his personal code to him, either. He won't show any
anger, or probably even feel any. He may even smile and nod thoughtfully, with that
faraway look in his eyes, but you might as well talk to the wall. He'll listen to almost
anybody. Listen.
That's all.
Although he forms his own code of ethics and keeps his own counsel in relation to
his personal and private life, business decisions are another matter. He's very likely,
if he's like the average Uranian man, to request everyone's -opinion on projected
procedures-and sometimes even ask a subordinate to make the final decision.
There's a method to this madness, and it's not the same as with the indecisive
Libran. Aquarius isn't passing the buck. He enjoys sitting back with an I-told-you-so
look when the decision you made (against his acutely accurate intuition) falls as, flat
as a pancake-to teach you a lesson. You do have to watch that. Aquarian bosses are
usually willing to give you all the rope you need to hang yourself with and another
several yards besides, if you ask for it. You're lucky if he explains even once just
exactly why he thinks you're on the wrong track. When he's done that-which is un-
usual enough-he won't explain a second time. You take it from there. Catch it
clearly the first time or youll get some confusing double-talk to remind you to pay
attention to what he says.
He expects you to be able to wiggle your antennae and pick up anything you've
missed out of the atmosphere. He doesn't realize that other people don't have his
Uranian gift for absorbing information from three people talking all at once while he
peels an orange, dials a phone number and shuffles through a stack of inter-office
memos.
Don't get too set in your ways around an Aquarian executive. You're liable to walk
in some morning and find your office has been moved to another floor and he forgot
to tell you. There's always change in the air around this man. You may have the
unsettling experience of having him sweep down unexpectedly one day with a big,
warm, friendly grin and throw your entire system out the window -the system the
office has been using since the Civil War. In its place he'll substitute a new method,
faster and less cluttered with detail. You say you can't adjust that quickly? You need
at least six months to make the change and the new system is Greek to you at this
point? He can't understand that. It's perfectly clear to him. Don't worry, you'll catch
on. Hell wait. He's patient.
And that he is. The normal Uranus-ruled mind may be full of nervous curiosity just
beneath the surface, but generally the Aquarian takes it fairly easy, and projects an
image of calm and thoughtful deliberation. You'll notice I said generally. Of course,
there was the time he actually ran out of the office to catch those six fire trucks, the
turtle race he staged on his carpet with real turtles, and the day he had those
miniature TV sets delivered to each desk during the World Series. And of course
there was that morning he took over the switchboard, just to see what it was like,
mixed up all the calls, disconnected everyone, accidentally got a big TV network
veep on a crossed wire and sold him a half a million dollar deal-then forgot the
man's name when he came in to sign the contract. But normally he's placid and
controlled. So he's a little eccentric now and then: he has the water cooler moved
once a month so you can't find it, and he likes to change your day off with no notice.
What are a few minor annoyances like that when you work for a boss who's
sincerely fascinated by that book you're writing on Kansas City jazz? And how can
you stay mad at a boss who doesn't mind if the bookkeeper grows a beard, his
secretary wears white fur boots with rhinestone heels to work or the new filing clerk
parks his bicycle in the reception room?
He may spend one day talking your ear off, and the next week secluded inside his
office, ignoring staff, customers and suppliers, deep in lonely thought. He's resting
his soul, and those periods of retreat are necessary. Regardless of how recently you
joined the firm, he'll consider you his friend. He's even good friends with the
competition. No matter what it says on your company letterhead, the real business
of your Aquarian boss is friendship. Somebody discussing today's corporate
conformity recently said, "Give me back the good old-time individualist executive
with the gravy spots on his tie, who got things done without calling a committee
meeting for every little snag." The poor man Was undoubtedly undergoing a rush of
nostalgia for an Aquarian boss he had years ago.
Those of you who work for a Uranian probably don't have the common problem of
the boss's wife dropping in unexpectedly while things are a mess and the painters
are tearing the reception room apart. She's lucky if she knows where he works, let
alone has permission to drop in on him. Aquarians don't confide every little activity
to their wives. I used to live next door to the February-born executive of a research
firm who once didn't get around to telling his wife he had to fly to Europe on
business until he arrived there and noticed he didn't have any clean shirts. (He was
quite put out about it, and he told her so when he phoned her from London.
Somehow, it was all her fault. She should have anticipated he might make a trip.)
Funny how you kept remembering all the idiosyncrasies of your own Aquarian
executive last week while you watched him get the Man of the Year award from the
mayor at that big formal banquet. You had just decided that, regardless of his
unpredictable ways and his dippy habits, he was actually one of the most
distinguished bosses a person could have. Then you happened to look down under
the table-and there were his feet tapping the rug impatiently, clad in neat black dress
shoes, wearing one blue sock and one yellow sock.
The AQUARIUS Employee
Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! How I wonder what you're at! Up above the world you
fly, Like a teortray in the sky.
You shouldn't have any trouble spotting your Aquarian employee. He's the one with
all the friends. You know, the one who forgot his brief case this morning-the same
man who casually dropped in your office last month to borrow your fountain pen
and left behind a production idea which has saved your company $30,000 in
overtime so far, according to the latest check by the auditor.
It should also be a snap to remember the day you hired him. He's that fellow you
thought came in to sell you a box at Yankee Stadium-then you decided he was
soliciting funds for Shakespeare-in-the-Park, finally figured he was taking one of
those political polls-and didn't realize until after he left that he had actually stopped
by to apply for a job. If you don't remember him, it's five-to-one your secretary
does. Aquarius men seem to make an instant and lasting impression on women,
even those who look like neglected, underfed puppy dogs with figures loosely
resembling Ichabod Crane's. Some people might jump to the hasty conclusion this is
the mother-instinct, but they would be wrong. The real Uranus attraction for females
is the Aquarian's absolute indifference to their existence. It drives them to
distraction. He's a challenge they can't resist-so they either retaliate by trying to
vamp him or by snubbing him back, neither of which makes the slightest impression
on your Aquarian employee. He can be totally blind to a female co-worker for
weeks, literally not seeing her, then one fine spring morning suddenly startle her
with the information that her eyes are the exact shade of a robin's egg he once found
in a tree, and she's gone. I mean, completely lost. She may not type a word the rest
of the day.
Life with an Aquarian employee can be exhilarating and leave you a little
breathless. It's not that they're extroverts or flamboyant or practical jokers. Quite the
reverse. Many Aquarians are sober, cool, aloof and removed from the mad world
around them. The only trouble is that they've removed themselves fifty years ahead,
and when they rocket back to the present every few days or so, they've bagged some
unusual ideas from the stratosphere. If you're a smart boss, you'll invite the Uranus
man to your office for a chat once a week. It could be profitable. Who knows what
you might pick up? When he tells you in the proper technical language exactly
what's wrong with that loose screw under the fourth bolt in the new machine that
keeps breaking down, you may start to wonder if he has been to Mars and back
since you saw him on the elevator yesterday. Especially after you check personnel
records and see that he didn't take a course in science or mechanics at college. Still,
the informal conference with him may not always turn out so profitably. He may
leave after that little confidential talk with your check for a few thousand dollars for
the preservation of Basketball on Indian Reservations-or the Research Society for
Investigating Psychic Phenomena in Smyrna. The Aquarian interests are worldwide.
Chances are this seemingly quiet, brilliant and friendly young man won't stay
around long enough for you to remember his face. The Aquarian male will either
begin at the top, work his way up there in a few weeks, decide to go it alone as a
composer, photographer, ornithologist, dancer, singer, clown, writer, juggler,
athlete, geologist, radio or TV announcer, etc.-or leave you to drift from job to job
"looking for himself." Someday he'll find himself, too. When he does, he usually
stays in one place for a lifetime. Until that moment of truth, however, our Uranus-
ruled friends spend a period of time just roaming around, experimenting, learning,
looking, investigating, and picking up new friends.
He's not sentimental by nature. He has a scientific attitude, but there's also a strong
interest in people, what makes them laugh and what makes them cry. An Aquarian
does not lean toward emotionalism (except rarely when he's in the clutch of an
eccentric rush of behavior, perhaps a reaction to some very disturbing personal
experience). Unfortunately, his ideas and opinions are often considered irrational
and impractical, but that's just because his critics aren't tuned to his frequency-half a
century ahead. Imagine how your grandmother felt when some Aquarian back in the
nineties tried to describe color television and astronauts landing on the moon. That
gives you a fair idea of the reception Uranus-ruled people get today when they start
in on their theory of a time machine, and how it could be designed with safety
valves so a defective switch won't get you lost somewhere in 1770.
You may notice the Aquarian employee with a different friend each week or so. It's
difficult for him to be satisfied with any one individual at a time, since his
sympathies run into so many channels. It's common for him, therefore, to give more
friendship than he receives.
The first thing you may have to do is decide which kind of Aquarian you have
employed. There's only one basic Uranus type-but there are two ways in which the
Aquarian nature can manifest itself. The first kind is the suave, pipe-smoking
professor type, with a relaxed manner and not a few eccentric habits, who lives in an
elegant but curious apartment full of Egyptian mummies, a tree from India planted
in the center of the room, bells from Sumatra, 16th Century tables and early
American rockets, plus a mod painting or two and maybe an old airplane propeller
hanging over the fireplace. He dines on gourmet foods like roasted grasshoppers and
steak tartar with ants' eggs sprinkled on top. He's usually brilliant.
The other kind lives in a tiny room over the subway, eats mustard sandwiches and
watches his favorite TV show on the first set ever manufactured. He scatters his
inventions all over the corner table, picks out tunes on a dusty piano, and washes the
dishes once a week. He is also brilliant. The trouble is, when you get them both out
in normal society, it's hard to tell the difference.
Both are conscientious workers. Both have a high degree of intelligence, as well as
uncanny perception and a fine sensitivity to everyone around them. They each soak
up knowledge while appearing to be engrossed in some abstract theory. Their
memories are weak but their intuitive powers more than make up for it. They're
extremely odd in their habits, kind and sympathetic, usually very courteous, and
they wear unusual combinations of clothing. They're each loyal, honest and have a
strict code which is never violated. ;
Both are bachelors, and they number about five thousand good friends each, ranging
from Leonard Bernstein and Joe Namath to Scarface Al and Minnie, the apple lady
who' takes numbers. So you see? An Aquarian is an Aquarian. A pipe, a mustard
sandwich or a couple of Egyptian mummies between a couple of lotus trees have
nothing at all to do with it.
You can be safe in assuming your Aquarian worker is giving you a full day's work
for his pay. Although he's probably the real cause of your secretary's severe skin
rash her doctor can't diagnose or cure, he may end up on the front page of The New
York Times someday, being presented with a plaque or something and you can say
"I knew him when." He can also contribute some pretty sane, concrete thinking to
your firm which will possibly even result in bringing it up to the Twentieth Century.
He's utterly trustworthy with company secrets, and probably the best customer's
man -you can find, because he'll make friends with your coldest client and wonder
why everyone thought he was so tough to deal with. To the Aquarian, he's just
another human with some intriguing aspect to his personality to be uncovered with a
few polite, direct questions and a little observation.
This employee isn't likely to nudge you constantly for a raise, because money is
usually down there on the bottom of his list, along with women. But he's shrewd
enough to know his worth, and it wouldn't be wise to take advantage of him. He
may cause some raised eyebrows, but he'll seldom cause any scandal or petty office
gossip. You won't find him filled with much intense, driving ambition, yet he has
one of the finest minds in the zodiac. If you should decide he knows enough to
make him your partner, he'll never steal the business from you-and he can be a most
decided asset, possibly even bring worldwide prestige to the firm someday.
When he does eventually decide to get married, you may lose a good secretary (he
won't want his wife to work), but you want the poor girl's skin rash to clear up, don't
you?Child of the pure, unclouded brow
And dreaming eyes of wonder! Though time be fleet, and I and thou
Are half a Life asunder, Thy loving smile will surely hail The love-gift of a fairy-tale
fly, Like a teortray in the sky.
You shouldn't have any trouble spotting your Aquarian employee. He's the one with
all the friends. You know, the one who forgot his brief case this morning-the same
man who casually dropped in your office last month to borrow your fountain pen
and left behind a production idea which has saved your company $30,000 in
overtime so far, according to the latest check by the auditor.
It should also be a snap to remember the day you hired him. He's that fellow you
thought came in to sell you a box at Yankee Stadium-then you decided he was
soliciting funds for Shakespeare-in-the-Park, finally figured he was taking one of
those political polls-and didn't realize until after he left that he had actually stopped
by to apply for a job. If you don't remember him, it's five-to-one your secretary
does. Aquarius men seem to make an instant and lasting impression on women,
even those who look like neglected, underfed puppy dogs with figures loosely
resembling Ichabod Crane's. Some people might jump to the hasty conclusion this is
the mother-instinct, but they would be wrong. The real Uranus attraction for females
is the Aquarian's absolute indifference to their existence. It drives them to
distraction. He's a challenge they can't resist-so they either retaliate by trying to
vamp him or by snubbing him back, neither of which makes the slightest impression
on your Aquarian employee. He can be totally blind to a female co-worker for
weeks, literally not seeing her, then one fine spring morning suddenly startle her
with the information that her eyes are the exact shade of a robin's egg he once found
in a tree, and she's gone. I mean, completely lost. She may not type a word the rest
of the day.
Life with an Aquarian employee can be exhilarating and leave you a little
breathless. It's not that they're extroverts or flamboyant or practical jokers. Quite the
reverse. Many Aquarians are sober, cool, aloof and removed from the mad world
around them. The only trouble is that they've removed themselves fifty years ahead,
and when they rocket back to the present every few days or so, they've bagged some
unusual ideas from the stratosphere. If you're a smart boss, you'll invite the Uranus
man to your office for a chat once a week. It could be profitable. Who knows what
you might pick up? When he tells you in the proper technical language exactly
what's wrong with that loose screw under the fourth bolt in the new machine that
keeps breaking down, you may start to wonder if he has been to Mars and back
since you saw him on the elevator yesterday. Especially after you check personnel
records and see that he didn't take a course in science or mechanics at college. Still,
the informal conference with him may not always turn out so profitably. He may
leave after that little confidential talk with your check for a few thousand dollars for
the preservation of Basketball on Indian Reservations-or the Research Society for
Investigating Psychic Phenomena in Smyrna. The Aquarian interests are worldwide.
Chances are this seemingly quiet, brilliant and friendly young man won't stay
around long enough for you to remember his face. The Aquarian male will either
begin at the top, work his way up there in a few weeks, decide to go it alone as a
composer, photographer, ornithologist, dancer, singer, clown, writer, juggler,
athlete, geologist, radio or TV announcer, etc.-or leave you to drift from job to job
"looking for himself." Someday he'll find himself, too. When he does, he usually
stays in one place for a lifetime. Until that moment of truth, however, our Uranus-
ruled friends spend a period of time just roaming around, experimenting, learning,
looking, investigating, and picking up new friends.
He's not sentimental by nature. He has a scientific attitude, but there's also a strong
interest in people, what makes them laugh and what makes them cry. An Aquarian
does not lean toward emotionalism (except rarely when he's in the clutch of an
eccentric rush of behavior, perhaps a reaction to some very disturbing personal
experience). Unfortunately, his ideas and opinions are often considered irrational
and impractical, but that's just because his critics aren't tuned to his frequency-half a
century ahead. Imagine how your grandmother felt when some Aquarian back in the
nineties tried to describe color television and astronauts landing on the moon. That
gives you a fair idea of the reception Uranus-ruled people get today when they start
in on their theory of a time machine, and how it could be designed with safety
valves so a defective switch won't get you lost somewhere in 1770.
You may notice the Aquarian employee with a different friend each week or so. It's
difficult for him to be satisfied with any one individual at a time, since his
sympathies run into so many channels. It's common for him, therefore, to give more
friendship than he receives.
The first thing you may have to do is decide which kind of Aquarian you have
employed. There's only one basic Uranus type-but there are two ways in which the
Aquarian nature can manifest itself. The first kind is the suave, pipe-smoking
professor type, with a relaxed manner and not a few eccentric habits, who lives in an
elegant but curious apartment full of Egyptian mummies, a tree from India planted
in the center of the room, bells from Sumatra, 16th Century tables and early
American rockets, plus a mod painting or two and maybe an old airplane propeller
hanging over the fireplace. He dines on gourmet foods like roasted grasshoppers and
steak tartar with ants' eggs sprinkled on top. He's usually brilliant.
The other kind lives in a tiny room over the subway, eats mustard sandwiches and
watches his favorite TV show on the first set ever manufactured. He scatters his
inventions all over the corner table, picks out tunes on a dusty piano, and washes the
dishes once a week. He is also brilliant. The trouble is, when you get them both out
in normal society, it's hard to tell the difference.
Both are conscientious workers. Both have a high degree of intelligence, as well as
uncanny perception and a fine sensitivity to everyone around them. They each soak
up knowledge while appearing to be engrossed in some abstract theory. Their
memories are weak but their intuitive powers more than make up for it. They're
extremely odd in their habits, kind and sympathetic, usually very courteous, and
they wear unusual combinations of clothing. They're each loyal, honest and have a
strict code which is never violated. ;
Both are bachelors, and they number about five thousand good friends each, ranging
from Leonard Bernstein and Joe Namath to Scarface Al and Minnie, the apple lady
who' takes numbers. So you see? An Aquarian is an Aquarian. A pipe, a mustard
sandwich or a couple of Egyptian mummies between a couple of lotus trees have
nothing at all to do with it.
You can be safe in assuming your Aquarian worker is giving you a full day's work
for his pay. Although he's probably the real cause of your secretary's severe skin
rash her doctor can't diagnose or cure, he may end up on the front page of The New
York Times someday, being presented with a plaque or something and you can say
"I knew him when." He can also contribute some pretty sane, concrete thinking to
your firm which will possibly even result in bringing it up to the Twentieth Century.
He's utterly trustworthy with company secrets, and probably the best customer's
man -you can find, because he'll make friends with your coldest client and wonder
why everyone thought he was so tough to deal with. To the Aquarian, he's just
another human with some intriguing aspect to his personality to be uncovered with a
few polite, direct questions and a little observation.
This employee isn't likely to nudge you constantly for a raise, because money is
usually down there on the bottom of his list, along with women. But he's shrewd
enough to know his worth, and it wouldn't be wise to take advantage of him. He
may cause some raised eyebrows, but he'll seldom cause any scandal or petty office
gossip. You won't find him filled with much intense, driving ambition, yet he has
one of the finest minds in the zodiac. If you should decide he knows enough to
make him your partner, he'll never steal the business from you-and he can be a most
decided asset, possibly even bring worldwide prestige to the firm someday.
When he does eventually decide to get married, you may lose a good secretary (he
won't want his wife to work), but you want the poor girl's skin rash to clear up, don't
you?Child of the pure, unclouded brow
And dreaming eyes of wonder! Though time be fleet, and I and thou
Are half a Life asunder, Thy loving smile will surely hail The love-gift of a fairy-tale